objects of desire

1. georgie (but only in one fine day)
2. hugh jackman (any form, human or wolf, unshaven or clean)
3. a love as pure and innocent like ponyo (and parents like that too!) ;)

christmas came and went, and i really miss singing. i sang a bit again today at the vc post-xmas party, and i realised that ive gotten more of my voice back. it just felt very nice to be singing out loud. i dream about singing again in a choir, but that'd have to wait till i get back from london i guess.

ive been getting plenty of the singapore sun nowadays, which is a good thing cos it makes me think and wonder alot of things. life in london seems like such a faraway thing, and ive been thinking alot about my future since i got back. its like im trying to picture how my life will be when i come back next july. my new year resolution: to figure out what i want to do with my life. ;)

in the meantime- pray the weather's good in taipei! ;)

"you got me feeling like a child now"

so ive been back for a while now, but it feels like forever;)

ive done the two most important things that i want to do for this trip back, which is: cheryl's birthday party (again, i know;) and nabila's wedding. i wish i could have stayed longer for cheryl's party;)

im really happy for nabila, seeing how shes found happiness and peace. im happy as a friend whos shared many lovely memories together in school, and having seen her go through all those years back in secondary school; then the growing-up years after, where we all became our own persons; yet even when we grew into such different persons, breakfast at east coast park macs still remained our meeting point for updates/catchups/gossiping/interrogations:). at the solemnization ceremony, i kept tearing and had to really stop myself from crying. i think if rosh or rach had been there i would have, since it would feel like at least someone else knows how im feeling, but they werent (im sorry you guys couldnt make it ;( but i know somewhere halfway across the globe, they were feeling the same emotions as i was- wishing our friend will stay happy always, and that her new husband will treat her well (and she the same to him); and that they will forever remain in bliss, and find joy in each other's company.
and may breakfast at ecp macs happen soon;)

**
strangely this year i dont feel too christmasy. ive always loved the christmas period, with the festive mood and happy people all around. maybe thats cos i havent been to town (not properly at least, today didnt count!); or that im not really involved in carolling(although we had a brief encounter with njalum today). somehow im more excited about chinese new year. BAK KWA! hee.

ah, i dont think im going to lose any weight this time round. hello LA fitness.

eyes wide open

so, my bags are packed, my hair is all pinned up, and my nose isnt dripping that badly anymore. last night was simply terrible- i couldnt get to sleep until it was well over 6am. i sincerely dont mean to spread germs around on the plane; dont think anyone likes to sit next to a sniffer for 14hours. but oh wells may is stuck with me!

wow. im going home! :)

why beyonce, why?

i just heard it on the radio. why does beyonce wants to be a boy? when she has those curves, the pout, and oh the hair. it disturbs me greatly. why beyonce why!
i hate the song. more than womanizer (which actually grows on you in an imbritneyspearsandimfantastic way)

i really should get back to mini essay;(

oh and, HELLO SISTER-BACK-IN-SG.
3 more days!

all you need is love(r)

apparently now i sound like janice from friends. *a hah ah ha ha*

so i feel like i havent been home for quite sometime now, but its been fun celebrating lover's 21st. ;) watching her get drunk at retrophilia, letting jerald buy me a drink (only to give it to tan later hee), dancing till the very last song, and dying in my heels (which gang wanted to water. "to nurture the flowers!")
then the next day the real surprise came-made her get out of bed and pack, spa at london marriott hotel (very much needed), dinner at assa, and then we went home too early but tan was really nice- surprised lover with her huge ass present (which she simply adored) and all the lovely people who shared, drinks after where thong and junkai were ordering sissy drinks(but everyone was still nursing the drinks from night before).

best moment for me was after we gave her the present and we were waiting around for things to happen. lover had carried the mixer to the kitchen and when i walked into the kitchen she was hugging the mixer ;)

apparently now mr ken is going to usurp my position as a lover, but of course a mixer can only do so much, so i dont feel very threatened.

well to top off everything thats been wonderful, the day lover flew off i met with a new friend for lunch and to discuss logic coursework, and shes just so much fun to be with and im so glad i sat next to her in class that day. and then now im meeting jess for shoppingggg;)
and its sunny in london today.

:)

teeheehee

(i think im in love with the jonas brothers)

i really cant wait ;)

okay so i have a box full of letters and random stuff that i get from all you lovely people (i found my vaio recovery disk!); and i was moving stuff around so i opened it and i got reminded of all the things i had nearly forgotten about ie. i found a diary i kept last year! erm, i had honestly forgotten about it, and it shows cos i only wrote for about ten pages and then the rest of the book is blank. see, i warned you guys about my horrible memory!

so in the stash, and among my diary, i found: eug's cd, ah the lovely cover. you know what they say about people who makes you mix-tapes! (they really are in love with you) and just when i was thinking about whether eug wrote any new songs!; hahaha bock's song hahah;the 21st love puzzle i got from my silly girls :); erm a whole stack of 'new' christmas cards. i have a bad habit of getting too excited and buying all the pretty cards and then running out of people to write for; tons of letters from my dearest mummy ;) ; my sister's musical 'the goodbye girl!'; haha this random note i saw from bing, which she wrote upside down on the envelope and theres this little 'oops' note at the bottom of the envelope haha. now i really miss her. (girl stop playing around in sf!); all the christmas cards we exchanged last year at prelude, and now i really miss the times last year, doing all those stuff; lots of random 'if you think you're hot then this is for you' cards- and how i used to call ian my bff; apparently in my diary i wrote that i have a yellow polka dotted dress. which i dont remember having! major wardrobe clearance when i get backk; a whole new set of colour pencils, coloured paper, and envelopes; and how i was so in love. ;) they were good times.

so im sorting out my life for the next two weeks in my organiser, but all i can think of is the first thing im going do when i touch down ;) its a tie between prata at simpang and meehoonkuey at the old coffee shop!

what have i been up to:

1. procrastinating on my jurisprudence essay, big time. i just cant seem to choose between dworkin or hart. ah the lesser of two evils.
2. painting my nails :D
3. going for free hair treatment and blow dry at trevor sorbie, again. im becoming their resident hair model!
4. going school religiously. i actually sat next to jerald twice cos i go sch so early nowadays
5. GYM'ing. yes, LA fitness has become my gym. well, at least until my free passes run out, which is this friday. im not very good though, i give up after a while but at least i make it through a good whole hour! (albeit with breaks in between). and to be honest some of the machines still scare me ie. the cross trainer/step machine/those things with weights. guess id be sticking to my treadmill.

and i know this is really early, but i already bought my christmas cards :) yes im one of those irritating people who get into the festive mood really early, but hey the cards were adorable and i reallyreallyreally cant wait to see everybody back in singapore ;)

arghh

ah okay so im still trying to work out a system to sync my work folders from my big computer to my small laptop. and idiot me overwrote the notes i wrote on my smalley. argh! so i have like half notes now and im very irritated :(

all in a weekend

SO- i went to Brussels on saturday, ah the wonders of eurostar trains. so voila!, in two hours we were in Belgium. okay, so cher and i arent the best street navigators, and i think the tourist map we were given is rather dubious because the 'shopping street' was as empty as any other street that we were at, but at least we got to eat good food;) the street stalls around the st catherine church was really good: we mistakenly ordered raw oysters instead of raw mussels (shame on us level2 frenchers) but hello hello it was good! damn borough market you cheat our money. then we walked around and got lost and went back for another bowl of soupe poisson, which was just what we needed to warm our bodies.
belgium waffles do live up to their name;) it was chewy! well okay so technically we didnt have the real one but what the heck it was so delicious i didnt care if choc sauce was all over my gloves (and face).
well i got to see the EU side of brussels, the schumann part was quite pretty,and disappointingly there werent any lobbyists.
it snowed quite heavily the whole day, and cher's hands were too cold to hold the umbrella so i had to do it, but i kept poking her eyes/head/cheek/nose, and the umbrella kept collecting snow so it was very heavy to actually hold it high enough for her. damn you all tall people.
there were more english people than locals out on the streets. the locals were surprisingly really nice and friendly whenever we ask for directions (which happened erm quite a few times)
and then of course we went to the supermarket and wiped out the entire shelf of maple syrup waffles. i bought one pack for all my favourite people :D so if you get one you're loved by me. its quite crazy though i have to wait for like 3 weeks till singapore before i give any of them away so i hope i dont actually eat any of them before i go home :)
towards the end we camped at this place called le grande cafe; and we sat there for ages (not realising it was that long- 2.5hours!) but the food was good, we both had beers (hee) and i was quite proud of myself until i looked at the alcoholic content and it said 2.9%. well alright there how did the waitress know i dont drink!

THEN- sunday was shopping spree at bicester village. yes, spree- the word both evil and indulgently satisfying. i will (and shall) never understand the allure of versace/ugly luxury fashion brands. but nonetheless i bought quite a few things and did my christmas shopping. lets just say i cant wait for it to rain in london (so i can use my new brolly)!

headlines

the guardian, "barack obama arrives at the white house for meeting with george bush" but channel NewsAsia had to go with "Obama makes triumphant white house visit"
asians.

in other news, both my favourite people (rosh and cher) are back! got a call from rosh yay and cher showed me her battle scars (and vege soup, very dubious). ;)

jonny was very friendly today at the library, and it just makes me wonder why im so surprised at people's friendliness. maybe ive been conditioned into a city alien, hm.

"rise up"

i hate it when greys makes me cry.
cos its about death and not being able to let go; old people who love each other to the ends of the world, and then the eventual reality where one part of you dies and you have no control over it;
or old pasts that creep up on you when it is least expected and you are put in a situation where you have to look at it in the face (there is not much of a choice); and face it, so you can move on, go on with life.
(although i think people never truly move on. its all a myth to make everyone feel better about themselves. i think people simply make do with what they have, at this very moment)

and theres denny duquette, that strong alpha scent of a man. he has that sad, warm look in his eyes and ah i just cant get enough.
then they crack you up with sloan and everything seems better;)

the emotional becoming of teojiayun begins with greys, and ends with, hopefully, something less fictional. ;)

meanwhile, im lusting again. for that shiny diamond on the dot of oui.

ive come halfway

i watched woman in black last night, and it totally freaked me out. i was clutching my poor little bottle of pringles and my coat close to my chest, huddled up in one small ball hoping that she wont appear again. and yes you will scream too when they build the suspense up like that. even when i was relating the story to cher in dirty martini over all the music i got goosebumps just thinking about the story.
but thank god for the drunkards and good ol dancing after that.

--
this tickles me, alot. and the best thing is that i see it everyday on my way back home from school. and hearing jess say 'i installed the mother of all broadband!' was really funny too. ah what do i do without my lovely friends ;)
--

id have you say hi to my new asus baby when it comes. i finally bought it cos i saw wanjun's and then i read an article on guardian saying that retail prices here are going to increase by 15% so accommodate the low pound/euro. SO good time to buy before prices go up. besides, bringing my laptop to sch is really a pain. of course now that conversion is so low it was really quite cheap.

--

this weekend will be all work and no play, with my lover (no shawn im not going to stop calling her that!) away in bristol to cut trees (i wish her good weather) and tons of work piling up. ah the life of a student.

hello mister president

sometime early this morning i heard may totter out of her room and asked lulu about the results of the us elections. but i was too tired to get out of bed yet.
so the first thing i did when i woke up was to check the news. and there it is- barack obama, the new president of the united states.

the music video that caleb showed me still rings in my head, as does his speech in new hampshire primary after he lost, where 'yes we can' caught on. but since then ive been slightly wary of him winning, simply because of the overly positive reviews about him on the news (and the corresponding disapppointing news on mccain and his incredible palin); and also the zealously enthusiastic responses from (frivilous) young people, whom, i thought, were simply doing it cos it was the popular thing to do.

yet i cannot help but feel excited as i watched his victory speech on bbc; my goosebumps in his first few opening lines '.. tonight is your answer' ; his ease, his cool factor (as Time put it) and his charm; the way he smiles when he thanks michelle; and the very fact that the time has come, where we have come full circle of what martin luthur king has tried to achieve. and having read his biography earlier this year i cannot help but marvel at the way history has played out- all the bloodshed of the civil rights movement, rosa parks, the selma to montogmery march, and the very essence of the spirit of being an american, where everything is possible.

so i'm glad barack obama won. i cannot wait to see what he can do.

although it seems like he has already done so much.

'with three words that will ring from coast to coast, from sea, to shining sea- yes we can'

your gorgeousness.

okay so i spent the whole night before wishing it would rain and googling erm gastonbury pictures ;) we planned the day trip to bath way before but i was pretty tired from all the halloween-ing. we managed to wake up in time though (not before i gave my lover five calls, one of which she hung up on me and she claims she had no recollection of the missed calls and the one hang up) and caught a train down to bath.

so yes thats me, wearing my beloved wellingtons from joules :D (fyi its from the kids section) and i totally love it. ive had varied reactions about it (lulu: WHATS THAT! - to - lover's omg its so adorable!) but of course ive been wanting one for the longest time and it was raining in london the other day (as always) ;) well. whenever it rains i shall thank wellies for my dry feet.

i was really having fun spotting puddles and splashing around in them, although at the first puddle i was probably too enthusiastic and made too big a splash. lover kept running away in disgust with all the splashing about so she wasnt very entertained, but i clearly was ;)

the rolling hills; the numerous 'shaun the sheep'; sally lunn's buns (cinnamon butter and clotted cream, ah heavenly godly food); fudge factory (was licking my fudge while watching quantum of solace); and yes, i watched bond, and i didnt fall asleep this time!; and very friendly people who smiled all the time; and cheeky rascals who when asked for directions to the cinema says 'if you let me go in with you id tell you where!'



such a beautiful place;)

sniffles

i think i kinda like the feeling of being drugged- the paracetemol laced in your breath, drug-filled brain and wooziness all around. and then of course, the afternoon nap that you didnt know you took, but eventually takes up the whole of your day and then you slowly wake up feeling cold (damn the cold feet) and hungry, and you realised its quite dark already; after which you go make yourself some crappy dinner and then you go straight back to bed (not before some guy calls to offer you three issues of marie claire magazine for 1 pound, sigh) cos thats all the energy you have. i dont know how other people do it- blocked nose and muscle aches and all and stilll out there, fighting the cold and going about life as though the cold has no effect on them. i guess i am just weaker than i would love to be; or as jon always say, 'lazy lazy lazy!'

thanks though to my lover for the lemsip and good 'ol trashy fashion mag;) ah she knows me so well.
(lover truimphs all)

may the nasty cough never descend upon me!

happy diwali!

and this is how my diwali day went:

9am: decides not to go for make up medical class. sorry stuart andrews!
11am: michael wilkinson is doing jurisprudence! i really think he's a nice guy but i just dont get him when he lectures. rachel and i debated whether he's lost or gained weight.
12noon: goes for jurisprudence class. i teach my bbc friend another hokkien swear word.
12.01pm: nose works come on and valerie keeps looking over, oops.
12.58pm: my handphone rings in class, and my tutor concludes he's gone over time. ;)
1pm: get my hairdryer back from jessica, finally, but my ears were so blocked i couldnt really hear what she was saying...
1.30pm: i finally make my way over to meet jon to discuss about trial moot. no rooms in the library are available (fully booked til 5pm) sooo we make our way to the new academic building's new cafe.
1.45pm: we realise we cannot find a good argument for one point.
2pm: he makes his way to his class, and while walking he notices my new hair colour! yay
2.10pm: tries to find a free computer in the library, to no avail. make myself comfortable in one of the table facing the wall downstairs.
2.30pm: my ipod dies after singing its last breath on Ingrid Michaelson's Far Away. as soon as i put down my earphone, this old lady beind me says 'oh please go get a handkerchief, the sniffing is so annoying!'
2.31pm: i recover from my shock and apologise.
3.15pm: i stayed at my spot longer than i intended to, and in defiance sniffed loudly before i left. TWICE.
3.17pm: cannot find a free computer. panic, because i have to send an email before lecture.
3.20pm: spotted: two girls abusing the quick access computer policy by hogging the com spots to study. i go over and ask to use the computer. i stand and try to finish using the computer as fast as i can, while half debating whether to tell them to go find their own study spots.
3.30pm: ivan spots me and borrows copy card from me.
3.40pm: still stuck at the com, not going well and i figured i cant finish before lecture starts. sends email promising to attach the full authorities tonight.
3.45pm: hand towel thing in toilet is stuck.
4pm: medical law lecture. didnt have the notes cos i didnt go for class, so i simply sat and listened.
4.02pm: sees the essay questions,panicked a little when i didnt understand two of the questions; then realised i was being silly because we have not done those two yet.
4.25pm: finished my can of coke ;(
4.55pm: jay comes over and tells me how she loves my clothes. weekly ego booster;)
5pm: public international law lecture. spotted: tristan lookalike, again!
5.55pm: my bottle of sparkling water erupted all over me and my books. brilliant.
6.05pm: starts to drizzle a bit when i walk home, we tease judy about her saliva.
6.20pm: meets cheryl for groceries, and as soon as i walk out of my house it starts to pour.
6.21pm: it hailed. ! in oct. !
8pm: we spend way too long in waitrose and i end up with snacks. and also lots of fruits to balance it up.
8.20pm: i have oven baked fish and chips, which cheers me up a little, sigh.
10.13pm: finished dinner, sent email, and my lover is making me jealous.

and now i will go have an early night.

edit:
10.20pm: ITS SNOWING!

barely midterm yet

and im sick, again, but this time im actually going for makeup classes tomorrow, which says alot;) i might have been going out too much, but hey roshni was down for the weekend and i really enjoyed the indian company that one saturday afternoon. honestly ive always had friends from all races and colours but it was my first time spending so much time with a whole group of indian people who kept cracking indian jokes in that really funny indian accent;) ah goodness gracious me!

my ingrid michaelson cd came, finally, and im a happy girl. i want a mr lobster man too!

cheryl's house has turned from a poker house into a gaming house, with the new purchase of a ps3. they bought one game after another, and so this morning i forwarded ian the hmv newsletter which said grandtheft is on discount. and mr hopeless said they didnt want to get too addicted but oh they've been playing the whole morning.
which reminds me- i should go dig out my ds lite ;)

laughs

joke of the day (yest):
shop assistant: hey you look like an american
eddie: !!?

and my (not too fantastic) logic tutor reminds me of wilson from house.

before and after

before and after

okay you cant really see the gradiented cut of my 'after' shot (i tried my very best to photograph that in) but hey. cheryl is a damn good hairstylist (with lotsa patience, i think ma knows what a fussy girl i am with my haircuts) and the best thing is that she did it all with her nail scisscors. yes the tiny scisscors you cut your nails with. i kept asking her if her fingers are cramping and she said no.

so there! im bringing overseas student scrimping habits to a new level.

funny thing is how people dont notice that ive cut my hair though. its quite short now compared to what it was before! tan is the best. asked him whats different about me, and he stared at me for damn long before asking 'erm, something with the hair?'

rushing off to meet eddie now, after going out for three consecutive days (funny thing was i couldnt recall what exactly ive been doing at supper last night to shangjun) but hey its been fun not doing my readings, yet, which i will get to tonight. i will!

life

ive always kept a diaries, travel journals, and scrapbooks of kind. simply because i dont trust my own memory (i dont rem half the names of the people in lse after summer) although i claim to be very good with names and faces. strangely when i leave a place, ie when i left tkgs, i find that i could no longer recall everyone's names; remember the events that happened while i was in tkgs; funny incidents, stories, gossips, all the drama. so i rely on my little memory aids. i guess ive always felt very afraid of not being able to remember things about my life; that my life will simply pass me in a flash and i find that i have lived, but i cant remember for what and how it was.

alas my computer crashed when i went jc and all the camwhore pictures of myself in sec sch is now lost. (thank god, but still). then now, i realised that some of my pictures didnt manage to copy onto my ext hard disk, as a result i have now, once again, lost some snippets of my life to computer virus. sigh, i am truly sad. the funny thing is, the old pictures are all very intact, its the recent ones that i lost. mostly from last year, so i really should try not to lose anymore pictures of my life!

funny things

me, trying to bandage cheryl's finger, but totally missing the spot where the cut is and causing more blood to flow out cos im lk squeezing the finger. you should see it though- the bandage goes on but theres more blood. eeps.

my little nephew, and my aunt's attempts to get him off snacks.
upon hearing the ice cream man's bell- "the ice cream come from china one!"
on peanut butter - "you still dare to eat its from china!"
and now the poor boy doesnt eat either;)

in other news, its been lovely weather today, which is rare in grey london, and i cant wait to hit the markets tmr ;)

first week in school

and its been really alright considering classes havent started yet. nonetheless ive been very happy because i got to watch ingrid michaelson at monto's water rats last night. !!

im rather peeved cos none of the pictures i took did her justice- but i guess its rather hard to capture the kind of charm she had over her audience. haha she cracked alot of jokes and she was cutesy which surprisingly, i found very endearing. now on top of loving her songs, i love her ;)

best moment for me: when she tinkled the opening refrain of 'breakable' on the piano and everyone swooned ;)

after the concert she came out and interacted with us normal people, and in an effort not to lose the opportunity to get close to a star (my virgin experience) i had this chinese man to take my picture with her, which, was a very wrong choice (the chinese man not ingrid) cos you can only see our faces in the picture so im not showing that to anyone. what a waste!

opening acts of the show: i really liked this big curly haired doll called fiona bevan, so much so i even bought her cd after. when she did her bluesy rap thg she reminded me of a female jason mraz; her style was rather happy folksy and (huiije) and i really liked the lyrics.
although there was a swedish guy who had incredibly cool flippish hair which made my heart jump everytime he flicks it;)

so yeah school started well :)

cant wait

for school to start;)

meanwhile ive been:

1. getting a new bed
from this:to
tip: when you can fold your bed into half (ie like my old one) then you know its a really good call to change your bed. anddd you can get fabulous bedsheets from ikea!

2. trying to fix my com. had to reformat my computer because i had a virus/spyware/goodness knows what (thanks again shangjun!). so now everything is fine, but im running without office, jsut for the time being.

3. inspired to be hardworking by ding's (and hc's) notes. so i didnt wait for school to start and i crashed king's public international law lecture today. 9am lecture okay! really good.

4. meeting new people; something which i never thought id do as a third year.

5. freezing my ass off because my radiator isnt really working. london is so cold you cant imagine it was only summer a month back.

and of course i got my new ipod nano (aw shawnie) but i have no songs to add to it, cos i thought 'oh i dont download anw and all the songs are on my cds'. but now its pathetically bare and im quite sad. nvm, hmv having sale.

one more weekend, and school starts. about time!

seasame street

they sing together!


i love her.

but the best:

'doughnuts with a bite out of it looks like C but it doesnt taste as good!
a moon sometimes look lk C but you cant eat that, so...
C is for cookie, and thats good enough for me!'

haha and so i spent the whole afternoon looking at such videos. why cant i just spend life singing, counting and saying the alphabet too!

i adore neil patrick harris

watch the youtube video here!

if you watch 'how i met your mother', or even harold and kumar you will understand why im so thrilled to find him as a fairy. on seasame street. singing about shoes! i do think he's hilarious.

and i so miss seasame street why dont brit kids watch it!?

goodbye backaches

and hello new bed. (lets hope ikea is good). all hail to good night's sleep and sweet dreams.

i have one more year here i dontttt think i should break the new bed. i dont think so. i really hope not.

;)

insomnia

i was tossing and turning and i can hear all the cars driving past outside my house so i decided to give up trying to sleep. okay i shopped on asos, which makes me very guilty but hey i have insomnia! (yes i do need every excuse to shop).

i was surfing for wellington boots and i just saw the most gorgeous pair, (joules, this polka dotted one) but i shall reserve that until i do get a job- another incentive for me to get one real soon- and also for lse to give me my timetable real soon.

i have a half-eaten mooncake on my desk, and a two month-old cereal (which still tastes okay; after eating expired food for 11 weeks in poland i think food as long as its not mouldy or showing obvious signs of decay is fine).

i have not used the skipping rope; nor have i actually woken up early enough to run. i did try to do the yoga poses that the therapist taught us in poland though.

i have been getting backaches ever since i got back, and i seriously think its my unspringy mattress that is giving me the aches. i have half a mind to change it, which i think i will, even though im only going to sleep on it for a year at the most. and btw, another plank on my lousy bed broke again. so not my fault i dont think i gained that much weight...

i have to say, old drama serials do rock. 双天至尊 is such a classic, i can hear my mum screaming in the background 'how can like that one!' 'that doesnt make sense lor!' 'eh i can be the director already'. but its nice seeing singapore, and hearing cheesy chinese lines, and seeing how li nan xing got uglier from his younger self, quite unfortunately. he was quite good looking i dare say. that young, skinny, tanned heroic image which then turned into a shabby goatee slightly out of shape manly self.

life is brutal.

in londoness

so im back in london, and it sure feels strange to be back. it was a hasty departure at the centre even though we knew we would be leaving that day; it was just that the therapist only gave us ten minutes to say goodbyes and pack everything up. of course we took more than ten minutes, but still it felt too short for the 11 weeks of staying together and doing everything together. all the way back to london i felt something missing , and even when i got off at kings cross and i saw the familiar red bricks of the station, i marvelled at the beauty; yet i still did not feel a sense of belonging. london will and forever will be, simply a place that i studied at for three years, and not a place i make my home. that i am ever more certain of.

life at the centre was difficult to say what it was, since i had a good time making merry (as shimmie puts it) with the people there; yet at the same time i struggled against thinking too much about what i am actually doing there. the experience of staying at a halfway house will stay special to me, im sure, as will the friends i make there. there are certain moments at the centre where i felt so inadequate for not being able to do more, but then again there are some moments which i can remember very clearly; moments which i will make sure i remember to remind myself of the relationships i had formed. a guy's confession of insecurity of not having 'anyone in the world for him'; a guy choking up because of a reminder of the countdown to his beloved's visit back to poland; dreams of migrating to other countries, in search for a better life; random hugs; a pink fish eraser. ;)

there were a few moments in the centre where i felt overwhelming emotions- i think its something about the regimental schedule and strictness of the place that makes you want to embrace anything that is in touch with the sentimental side. it was this guy's 18th birthday (which to them is like a 21st) and his family came down and he felt so emotional the whole time he was crying. then we were talking (cos everyone else was working) and he told me that he loves his family alot and he started crying. and i did, too. abit. ;)

as i told eugenia, my life is really too comfortable!

on arrival back to london shimmie and i had woojung, which was too spicy for me. today i spent the whole day unpacking and cleaning up anything and everything in sight. and only first day back in london and im back to my usual diet- noodles, chicken and cherry tomatoes with soy sauce and chilli oil. (i was going to add a smiley but now im not so sure if its something to be smiling about).

im not so sure when school is starting; damn im not so sure i want to find out :) im going to start watching 双天至尊!

still alive,

i have 13 minutes left on my internet, and i decided to stop looking at apps.

quick update: havent seen much of poland, but the countryside (kembliny) where im at is quite pretty; i think if the world ever runs out of fuels and electricity i would gladly live without handphones and internet, for they only serve to complicate life. wouldnt life be wonderful if you get to make everything yourself and just grow corn and ride horses everyday;) watch the beautiful sun set over the lush green fields; sit on swings perched on a big old tree; have big dogs and they get all the space to run around and be dirty; and breathe fresh, clean air.

its a good break away from the hustle and bustle of a city life; its different.

i admit to struggling sometimes at the centre between what i want to do and what i can do. theres only so much i can do as a listener, as a friend, as someone who will eventually leave the place and maybe never come back again. maybe. but i figure that while im there i might as well make the best of it and even if its naivety, so be it.

ive baked twice at the centre already. shimmie and i spent hours doing it and it gets chomped up in minutes. scary;) but at least i get to do something i like;) eat! i feel like all the weight ive lost in the first week upon arriving at the centre has been put back on;( i dont feel it, i SEE it. damn that tummy bulge.

alright, time is running out. till next time;)

i said yes, you look wonderful tonight

it has been a long string of social engagements, and i am feeling pretty exhausted as i type this entry. but yes, summer has been really fun so far and ive been kept very busy even though my one and only partner has left for singapore and hasnt been replying my emails ;)

highlights of my summer since i last updated:

day 3 of wimbledon. got really sunburnt, and i dont think ancic is that hot. i did want to pinch(dont want to use too strong a word) this little kid who kept cheering for him though. i blame it on the scorching sun. and i do think samantha stosur looked absolutely fantastic. i googled her and someone thinks she lesbian (yay!)

hard rock calling, 28th june, hyde park. we were there for close to 8 hours, and the line up for the concert: jason mraz, john mayer, sheryl crow, and eric clapton. lets just say jason mraz should meet me cos i would make a fantastic mrs mraz ( i felt like a silly groupie but i couldnt stop squealing when he was singing, hes simply soo attractive, well, at least, to me). john mayer looks like an ah beng, esp now that i know he dates blonde actresses; sheryl crow has an amazing voice, and eric clapton is simply a legend. my fav moment was when he did 'wonderful tonight' and all the couples around me jsut started dancing. that got me all teary for a good while;) fav line of the concert :(by a band who did the opening act) i'm a receiver, you're a transmitter, so lets communicate. how original! :)
good music, fantastic weather, loved the artistes, lots of improv and jamming, and i couldnt have ended my summer in london with a better way.

leaving for poland in about 30 hours, and i must say i am looking forward to it. the corporate world, or trying to be in the corporate world, can be disillusioning and tiring, and i think i need to rediscover inspiration, again, for living, for passion, and for all the things i believe in. two and a half months is a long time to be away for, so dont miss me too much;)
http://monar.org/englishcooperation.html

heaven

heaven

i keep hearing this version of 'heaven' by a female singer on the radio, but i cant seem to find who she is! i hate it when this happens;( and trust me ive been searching for quite some time already.

battle.

watch and be tickled;)


back from all my holidays, bournemouth was a tad too cold for sunbathing but at least i got to catch sex and the city on big screen (cos tickets were so much cheaper there). i think they kept it very real and thats why i felt so drawn towards the characters, and obviously the clothes were fabulous to watch as well. dont worry, im not going to become brand conscious, just brand aware i guess;)

diets dont work.

just course,

im waiting for people to be ready and so im blogging.
hello hello, back from salzburg-vienna-hungary, and boy was it a really good trip;) im glad i went with the people i did, cos i think i got to know them so much better (trip defied all perceptions i had of them, esp supsup(which i still think is the best nickname i ever came up for anyone, ever)) and i dont think ive ever laughed so hard and talked so much for a very long time already. so thank you all for the wonderful company and lets do this more often ;)
salzburg was undoubtedly very scenic, and i couldnt help breaking out into sound of music everytime i see green rolling hills 'the hillsss are alivveeeee' cos it really is just as it is in the movie. and the trek up to the ice caves and the ice caves itself was just as gorgeous, i cant decide which one was better. the trek up was so misty we were practically walking in the clouds (imagine that), and inside the ice caves it was pretty much a different world. thank goodness we didnt do sound of music tour.
a pity we were all so broke in vienna, although we definitely didnt scrimp on food. but i think i had enough kebabs and macs to last me for a month. and going for mass on sunday was definitely a highlight; i miss classical music hm. ooh and we got to catch euro cup :) and i actually thought ronaldo played really well, although i know im probably gonna get whacked for saying that but hey he IS smooth!
hungary was really pretty. i know the boys were tired but boy did cheryl and i explore alot of it on our last day. we even went to soak ourselves in hot thermal baths which was definitely a luxury(it wasnt even expensive!) and on top of that we got to soak in the glorious sunshine.

;) bournemouth next, and then, results and poland. why must fun end!

whee

at cheryl's house now for a change (yah i know, like a couple right) and ive been walking around the whole of london. ive just come to a sad realisation that there really isnt much to do in london. when i go out i normally get out early and come back early too(hence nightlife in london is not counted), but after two days of hitting the shops and markets we realised we ran out of places to go. but yeah post exams has been great so far and im flying off to austria hungary tmr. weather looks great over there so im pretty excited;)

may's birthday picnic was yesterday and it was fun preparing for it. although it was supposed to be a surprise but i kinda blew it when i sent her the wrong message. but oh wells HAPPY EARLY 21st my dearest friend/choirpok/flattie(pun not intended)
;)

oh and ive been keeping with britain's got talent and i still think this is the funniest thing ive watched in a while

fyi they came in second. george samson the winner is really cute, and i was rooting for andrew johnston but he came in third ;(

one day more!

must get through the next day and last exam and not think about what to wear after exams/where to go shopping/sun sun sun(if it comes out)/where to go eat/what to watch on tv(britain's got talent's finals!)/visiting roshni/austriahugarybournemouth!

so many things to do!
note: i didnt mention running. ;) i still think its too much work as a post-exam activity.

i honestly dont think ive ever been so hyped over post exams before! man the perks of living alone :D no curfew, no one to answer to. gee, rocks! sorry mummy daddy;)

i keep looking back at the old pictures and laughing to myself at how silly we used to look. will post on facebook soon. must show the world how phua's hair used to look like.

exammsss be overrr soonnnn.

grey's anatomy

greys get to me, for some strange, awkward reason. but it does, even though when put next to house it all does seem very frivilous. it'd be cliche to say i can relate to them, because obviously they're a bunch of make-believe doctors who run around having inappropriate moments in the hospital (and the elevator) while all saving lives and touching hearts. but i've definitely felt like ive grown with the characters. so! i do love greys and of course, mcdreamy, very very much.

finally. ;)

captain planet he's the hero!

okay so ive ran out of shows to watch (why must shows end!), and ive resorted to xmen animation, kim possible, and now captain planet! "the power is yours!" hahaha really quite cute im going to start on carebears next. or maybe not.

so two down, two more to go. im thankful for the comforting joys of big fat oily macdonalds after papers :) i swear they have something magical in those filet oh fish burgers. and of course, coke.

in other news, i just realised that i cant get onto the oprah show because to reserve a place you need to phone in. so ive decided to become famous one day so oprah will actually invite me onto her show. please oprah give me another ten years!

marriageable flowers

probably terribly premature to think of this, but i cant help glancing at the flowers when i study and think of how lovely they'd look in a wedding ceremony outdoors.
strangely i think summer makes alot of people sing out very loudly. i have terribly loud singing neighbours.

life.

10 things happening in my life as of now(cos ten is a nice round even number(and cos i have more than 5 things i wanted to write about)) :

1. exams in ten days. strangely panic attacks doesnt seem to be translating into full speed ahead- hm.
2. i have heat rash. which i havent had since primary school. ! its that hot in london.
3. i am mourning the death of my old trusty ipod. it just happened too fast. i was barely out of the house when i noticed my waterbottle wasnt capped properly-- but my ipod was just too weak and old- it didnt survive the mini flood. now my ipod case is very empty.
4. i bought myself lovely flowers from (lo and behold) sainsburys local(just outside my house). i dont even venture into the big sains(10m from my house?) anymore!
5. i'm loving the comeback of grey's anatomy.
6. i was at holborn library when it opened; i was still there when it closed. and i didnt even read comics today. go me!
7. i have been skipping lunch sigh. but no visible results yet. not that im deliberately starving myself! yes ma i eat a very heavy breakfast.
8. we havent been running. (cos someone's a klutz!)
9. the thought of macdonald's breakfast tomorrow is the only thing thats keeping me sane right now.
10. my soundtrack for this year's studying is: kendall payne's 'scratch'; ingrid michaelson's 'breakable'; all of the colbie caillat i have on my itunes. i dont know why they're all girls.

am resisting the urge to go around london in fbts. MUST RESIST.

thank you;)

Dear Gracia and Mayling,

Thank you all very much for the (Very Belated) birthday present and the great lengths you two went to get it (oh the horrors of passer-by stares). i will forever and ever treasure the 21 glorious (aunty) panties. I will keep them (until I'm old enough, or trashy enough, depending on which panties you're talking about) in good condition and promise not to use them as disposable ones.

Yours and always the underwearer,
Jia Yun

mug on!

i made this for my wallpaper and im pretty proud of my work;) in case you're wondering GRA its your lipbalm! and while im at that id remember to go yell at you cos i still havent had the chance to open my birthday present.

anw cheryl has been staying over at my place (really, kai, we're not lesbians and no we dont share a bed.) and its been good studying with her. i've never really got the whole 'study with a friend' thing until erm now. i guess having someone to talk to during breaks (or not) is really quite a good way to release stress.

the funny thing was cheryl remembers having spoken to someone from vjchoir during germany olympics. at an airport before the flight leg back to singapore. according to her, that person looked dao, quite fashionable, short hair, skinny, but was very friendly. (ahem). i showed her all the pictures from germany and she couldnt find the person she spoke to. although she said since i was so skinny back then it might just have been me.
wouldnt it be just hilarious if it really was me!

creepy crawlies

i hate to sound like a girly girl, but there are BUGS in my room. ever since i boarded up my fireplace ive noticed bugs trying to get out from under my cardboard, but then they get caught up in all the tape and all and so i get to see them, stuck, in all their full glory. bugs stuck in scotchtape=3

then today i saw one in my laundry basket, dead=1
and one crawling around, alive=1

and i am freakkking out abit. i googled "brown bugs london" and all other variations, and strangely i cant really describe them. they do have alot of legs, but they're not exactly any of the categories of bugs on the internet. ive narrowed it down to maybe the lavae of carpet beetle though, which is apparently common in southern england, totally fits.
;(

looks like i have to get a bug spray even before i buy my mice traps.

edit: im slightly obsessed i swear. two hours later i spotted another one, only bigger, crawling OUT from under. naturally i changed into my jeans in record breaking time and i went out to get pesticide. only that when i lifted my cardboard to spray into it, i dont see any bugs. none at all.
now i think it might not be carpet larvae but it might be woodlice, which is attracted to damp conditions and is generally not harmful. its not even an insect! and besides woodlice generally die out if its dry (silica gel, anybody??)
;(

bing: "especially for teojia"

One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her
thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked,
"My dear child, why are you crying?" The seamstress replied that her thimble
had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in
making a living for their family. The Lord dipped His hand into the water and
pulled up a golden thimble set with sapphires.

"Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked The seamstress replied, "No."

The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a golden thimble studded
with rubies.

"Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked. Again, the seamstress replied, "No."

The Lord reached down again and came up with a leather thimble.

"Is this your thimble ?" the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, "Yes." The
Lord was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all three thimbles to
keep, and the seamstress went home happy.


Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the
riverbank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the
water. When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, "Why are
you crying?" "Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!"


The Lord went down into the water and came up with George Clooney. "Is this
your husband?" the Lord asked.


"YES!!" cried the seamstress. The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an
untruth!"


The seamstress replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a
misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to George Clooney, you would
have come up with Brad Pitt.

Then if I said 'no' to him, you would have come up with my husband. Had I
then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I'm not in the best
of health and would not be able to take care of all three husbands, so THAT'S
why I said 'yes' to George Clooney.


And so the Lord let her keep him.



The moral of this story is:

Whenever a woman lies, it's for a good and honorable reason, and in the best
interest of others. That's our story, and we're sticking to it.


Signed,

All Us Women

holborn library

studying at the holborn library turned out really well today. although this is what making notes for fundamental rights in the EU looked like;) during my lunch break i read the league of extraordinary gentlemen! i didnt know they were so... hm twisted. anw the foreword had something like 'there are three things that you need to know... blahblah.. the chinese are smart, but evil. ' haha.
;)

holborn library!

edit: how can the americans vote carly smithson out?! i am truly upset. argh;(

all i ask of you

i know i should be studying, but damnit why am i always so caught up with american idol(ie andrew lloyd webber night). if theres one thing i hate about old brits its the coloured pants that they love to wear- be it green, dirty yellow, or hey, burgundy coloured ones that andrew lloyd webber was wearing. why cant they be boring and just wear normal coloured ones and leave the coloured ones to the mats!

anw im falling in love with michael ball's dimples, and i really want to catch les miserables, again.

i can listen to those songs over and over again, and never tire of them. ah, the magic of theatre.

always be my baby

i absolutely love that rendition
"you'll always be a part of me i'd be a part of you indefinitelyyy"
listening to it really cheers me up:) im glad we (tan and i ) got cheryl hooked on it as well! boo archuletaaaa.

went for a run today and it was really much needed. weather was fantastic (finally, spring!), and the stopover later at cheryl's place was really fun;) im glad we sorted out whatever we could for summer, although bummer, our glorious plans for a complete eastern europe trip seems to be pretty out of the window (although if i defy my parents and book the cheap air ticket and come back early anyway id be filthy richhhh and yes im still sore). but if no one wants to tag along anymore, you and i baby, we'd be tanning our skins off at that oh so heavenly santorini beach and feeling the greek winds in our hair as we cruise along the, erm, greek sea. ;)

am definitely keeping up the runs. feeling strangely restless recently.

personality test

my morality score is 3. haha;) but i kinda think the test is pretty accurate even though it says i procrastinate.

test results

arghh

i cant read my own handwriting. grr;(

my secret admirer(s)

here's the confession letter, and since they're not online for me to strangle them, here it is. ;)

Dearest most-loved yunnie, tjy, jy, Jia Yun, (in that order of frequency!)

I think it’s time for me to finally say, my favorite yellow spark, how I really feel about you.

I never thought I could really love someone as much as I love you. We started out as friends just talking, you that obnoxious tkg girl, but over the last couple of months I've truly fallen for you the way you’ve fallen for Clooney — head over heels. You're not one to admit how you feel but I know somewhere in your heart you have feelings for me too because I know you would not have just wasted your time, over girltalk, dark chocs, pizza hut lunches, Friday dinners, 7-11 visits, shared secrets, bus rides and showers, for nothing.

I am sincerely sorry that I cannot be there with you to celebrate your twenty-first birthday, because of this distance that separates us; Toa Payoh + Tampines (or for now, Seattle) + Simei + Pasir Ris is a veryyy long way from you. The fact that we're a thousand miles apart is not a matter at all because you are always in my heart. But I want you to know that I miss seeing you around in 04s22, or in Singapore, for that matter, and I am, and will be, always thinking of you breaking my bed.

I cherish any thought of you, prize any memory of you that rises from the depths of my mind, and live for the day when our physical separation will no longer be; i.e. December of 2008

Until that moment arrives, I send to you across the miles, my tender love and my warm embrace, to keep YTT warm. J

Till we finally meet again,

Love now and always,

Your favourite teetees (:

i want my mariah carey cd

mariah week at idols never sounded weirder. poor guys;) but i really really liked david cook's version of one of my fav mariah songs, always be my baby. ah i know mariah's weird nowadays(e=mc2, really??) but i really liked her songs when i was younger.

way to go david cook!

go orange

two days ago i bought a pack of carrots, 2kg worth of all the orange fibre goodness, simply because it was only 99pence. and it tied in with my new diet- more vegetables in my foods! besides i love eating raw carrots, im quite a rabbit at that, and on the first day i easily ate like ten sticks- five for lunch, five for dinner.

THEN today cheryl had to tell me that eating too much carrots makes you turn orange (freaking oomphaloompa) i dont remember this but she thinks it was in greys, and anyway she really knew someone who turned orange from snacking on oranges and carrots.

i dont want to turn orange!!

so please, if you see me and you think i look orange, TELL ME. even if you have to point a finger at me and laugh.
in the meantime, im taking a break from carrots;(

falling slowly

i know i should be studying really hard but i couldnt stop thinking about this song after andre showed it to me;)

i miss choir

i had my radio tuned to the classic fm as i studied today, and then there was a short clip of interview with eric whitacre. then they played 'sleep', which to be honest has never been my favourite song. i always think it boring compared to the other whitacre songs. but then the choir sang it so well- the control, and oh man the sopranoes just kept the top line so well. then i lost my concentration for studying and i just had to come on my computer to listen to our past recordings. i tried to find that choir's recording on youtube but i cant -Polyphony, and apparently in some cd called cloudburst which topped charts. well, they should be:)

but of course my all-time high is leonardo.

nelson really is a genius i think he did the song with us very much the same way whitacre did.
ps. confession: okay im a lousy sl. i never sang the last part right hahah i just anyhow lala throughout :D bing was probably the only one who got it damnit.
pps. i still think of caroline and her 'ma-a-a-a-a' everytime and i want to laugh;)
ppps. sopranoes are the best.

sometimes when we touch

original by dan hill though.

"and sometimes when we touch, the honesty's too much
and i have to close my eyes and hide"
:)

letter.

Dear Ashraf,

I don’t really know how to tell you this, but you’re a pervert. I think I realised it when your dwarf bit me in women’s clothing and pulled the toupee off my best friend.

I’m sure you’re middle-class enough to understand that there is no solution to this.

Im returning your love letters back to you, but I’m keeping the results of your blood sample.

You should also know that I was interviewed by the Times about a new life as a clone.

Fuck off now,
Jia Yun

ps. thanks to nab:) i did get a shock when i first read it (esp the ring part!)
pps. sorry ashraf:D

yummy brown kaya

So. ive been having alot of fun since easter started- southern france, mummy, paris. and now, study. no panic attacks yet, but thats probably because i havent looked at anything that slightly resembles lawly studies;)

went to paris with mum and we were brought around by her friend. the only regret i have is not having walked the streets of paris more (we were tramming around alot and driven around) but i think versailles and louvre alone are worth it. i wish i could have spent more time in both places -i truly felt very excited looking at all the big paintings, poor mum had to follow me around;) although i think she enjoyed it as well! i didnt really make it to marie antoinette's gardens, i thought that was really quite a pity. but oh wells, one more place to visit again. ;)

so mum's gone back just this morning, and its back to the books. till summer hols!

ps. WE MADE BROWN KAYA and its quite heavenly;)

american idol

i believe i just heard the best song, ever, on american idol. when he first sang the song i was thinking hey i know this song ;)

bock i think ramiele should go home! :)

edit: okay i realised its a version by chris cornell. chey.

i am part 1 hear me roar

alright yes bock no more emo posts or else no one will want to talk to me ;)

i just read mr brown's blog and i came across this blog of this autistic lady. as some of you might know my cousin is autistic and therefore im always interested in reading stuff about autisitism and finding out more about it.
it amazes me at how this universe works- she is able to express herself perfectly well, it wouldnt be wrong for me to say that she might just express herself better and coherently than alot of young adults out there (me humbly included). the very first post talks about hatred and erasure- and she writes it with such wisdom its almost strange. yes she is autistic and she is unable to speak- she simply communicates in another manner which is not the norm.
i find my cousin highly artistic - he is extremely good with plasticine (i kid you not) the detailing of cartoon characters that he does leaves us in awe all the time. and i hear he's picked up piano and getting good at it.
im glad that they can do what they can do despite being labelled as autistic- strange as it sounds that one has to do so much just to prove a worth; i simply hope that this world has enough space (in their hearts) to accommodate their ways.

安宁

突然很想用华语表达自己,应该是因为很久没用母语交谈了,所以有点想念. 现在的心情比昨天的平静多了,思乡也较有次序;心,也几乎镇定多了. 原本已经定下的心又被起伏;瞬纳之间那些已被埋藏的情绪又回来了. 不想逃避的我,却发现地自己没有那种勇气. 但我想我已找到答案. ;)
就如我人生中其的故事, 这个也有个主题曲.

"我努力的想哭泣却哭不出泪滴
一次又一次的违心才发现早已麻痹
终于发现自己已经不在乎你
原来分手也能如此的安宁"

此时此刻,我想我是找到了安宁.以后的事,以后再说.

now i can vote (and watch RA movies)

officially 21 years 22 hours old.

not much reflection on life yet, just quiet, peaceful time to myself after everyone has gone back and all the party is over. france trip was fun and pretty, oh those roaring nights of german bridge until 2ams. yes we were a random group of friends, but it turned out great or so id like to think;) id always remember that pot of 114mussels and ian's 12 escargots as starters. and ian's horrible driving; me grabbing ENSHRINE; poor joanne being labelled throughout the trip (blame ian!) and florrine's cheese. and gangwei's random intellectual sprouts. ;)

came back midnight of my birthday- celebrated that, twice, on the plane. first time they woke me up at 12 midnight france time, to a cupcake with four stirrers stuck in the middle (as candles), then second time they woke me up again (london time) to pop champagne. quite funny cos i was obviously very groggy and sleepy :)
then i came back home to a room filled with streamers and balloons and lightsticks that spelt happy birthday. and roshni was already in my house which made it even more of a pleasant surprise.
i woke up that morning to a home cooked breakfast by roshni and mayling, but haha (oops) i went back straight to sleep cos hey, i slept at 4am! when i finally did wake up roshni couldnt stop giggling about what was going to happen that day ;)

then she revealed the treasure hunt around london ;)
we were off to a very slow start cos i brought them on the long way to get to soho. but we did get there, eventually, and first stop- haha. (sex shop). well basically they blindfolded me and made me choose my birthday present. lets just say even for the adventurous side of me, i see no use in my present so if you're feeling sexually adventurous come ask me and i might just lend the present to you ;)
next was a blindfolded walk to st jame's park for a picnic, and well i can imagine the amount of stares i got. :) then ian kept pretending to be a dog chewing at my knee and i kept falling for it. you know how terrified i am of animals arghhh.
then i had to do a sudoku puzzle at buckingham palace but no one brought a pen so that was kiv'ed haha.
piecing together a jigsaw puzzle of the picture of us choir girls at big ben :)
last challenge- to busk at embankment tube station, and i couldnt be let off until i got two pounds. well lets just say i did explain to everybody what i was doing, i did sing (albeit for ten seconds, i only knew lk two lines of that song hahah) and i did get two pence. thank you fans.
;) then lunch with mayling, and a surprise musical - monty python's spamalot. i know, id never have watched that musical unless someone paid for it, but hey i was laughing my head off during the musical. you'd be surprised, but i actually get the jokes. sigh i am cheap to entertain.
dinner at los locos, really nice place, and we had mocktails ahhaah. no more alcohol for me!
oh and ian's erm cheesecake/lemon milky digestive thingy ahhaha thanks babe for (attempting) the cake! :D

then to top it off, nab's email came in that night. ;)
reading that email really made me think. about what i cant exactly put my finger to, just that i am humbled by what she wrote;all my grouses now seemed small and petty; and that i am very inspired to live life, passionately, again.

my birthday wish, as with every year, is to be truly happy, and that everyone around me will be happy too. ;)

surprise 21st

and so me the big doofus didnt know that my conniving friends (the only two people i actually hang out with in london) were plotting a surprise dinner-21st celebration for me for the past two weeks.

i should have seen the signs- caleb asking to borrow our cake mixer and all our measuring cups; them always whispering behind my back (i thought they had some new gossip that they didnt want to tell me!!); that dubious (test cake) banana choc cake that surfaced mysteriously during clique break (which i totally slammed, for more details read her blog haha); how ian lied to me and said he couldnt make dinner (i was truly very sad); how cheryl was insisting that i dress up vintage for that night (which was the theme of the dinner) and well how i basically met everyone along the way to the party- how rude hongcheong was when i met him at covent garden, he simply muttered that he was going tesco and headed the other way!; and how i met ian and ian and his hsehold in the same tube carriage(!!) and they were carrying the cake and all, and i pointed to the cake box and asked 'whats that' and he said 'box lah'. and i totally left it at that; and how cheryl made me drop off one stop before and made me walk all the way there so that ians and company will be at the restaurant before me.

so imagine my surprise when i get to the restaurant and i see everybody there singing me a birthday song. ;)
dinner was gd, i think i was grinning a little too much throughout the whole dinner, and obviously (being us) the highlight of the night was when the cake came out. :) it was THE CAKE.
i love you cheryl;)
banana choc cake was AMAZING. true it was a bit too gelat, but man it was really chocolatey and so pretty! huge though :) but we managed to finish almost all of it. duh, its us.

;)gay clubbing was really fun too. i love gay music. they played spice girls and hairspray!and britney spears haha. had so much fun omg.

rosh came down today and that just made everything even better.

so yup im very happy. whenever i think about that night it just puts a big smile on my face;)

weekend

this has got to be my most effective weekend since my time in london. (notwithstanding the fact that im still procrastinating on my essay) but i did notes! i now have little hearts as bullet points (as long as it makes me happy to look at it ).

and im feeling so much better already. i think watching antm till 6am actually helped hm;)

then i went around surfing for jimmy liao's pictures. i got reminded of how much i love his little books although i never get down to buying any. i think id try to fashion my next blog layout on his pictures. i actually found one that i really like - but im no genius at html so it'd prob take me forever to get it right. shall wait until i actually have the time. meanwhile id just change my laptop desktop pic (bye bye mister ck man)

am listening to sov 05;) i actually feel my spirits being lifted which is an amazing thing. i think i really miss choir despite how i always claim that i was never really a part of choir. i think its the singing i miss;) and the fooling around (outside sectionals yes haha) and all you choir girls sigh.

oh what id give to be a silly frivolous jc girl all over again.

then again roshni promised to come down nxt week so that makes me very excited ;)

racism?

oprah has been running this series of awareness for domestic violence on her show for quite a while now; the current story involves this lady (who looks white but is actually mixed) who has been verbally abused by her husband from the very first day of their relationship, it gradually escalated into physical violence and even involved having her children ridicule her and being brainwashed by their father to put their mother down. one of the incidents actually included having the son videotape the abuse and participate in the abuse.

and people accuse oprah on her messageboards of racism. simpy because it shows a black man abusing a white woman.

i understand racism is still a very sensitive issue, and that, it essentially is wrong to discriminate or form judgments based on skin colour. but racism isnt the only issue in the world thats of pertinence; issues like domestic violence is as of equal importance. by focusing on the racism issue really takes the focus off what oprah has been trying to emphasise through her shows - that there are women out there who are in an abusive relationship and that they need a way out, a plan, to get out and live a life without fear of their husband's crazy whims.

but is there such a thing as trying too hard to make racism disappear?
from CNA, "Halimah Yacob, MP for Jurong GRC, said: "For instance, when I attend residents' wakes, I make sure I bring other races as well, so in Chinese wakes, there'll be Malays and Indians. In that way, we break the barriers. "
im not sure what this helps in breaking the barrier. bringing other races to wakes as an educational trip seems to belittle the sombreity of the wake. i understand her point- that we should have an inclusive programme, but i dont know. that statement doesnt seem to resonate with me.

of course there is always such a thing as striking a balance, which i think is quite hard to do. if you over address the issue it highlights the issue even more; leaving it in the dark sends signals of condoning the issue.

true, london deals with this issue by being indifferent. in many ways i guess being in london, and lse makes it easier for me (chinatown is so near;) i guess settling for indifference is always better than outright confrontation. as Avenue Q says, 'Everybody's a little bit racist!'

damn the cold

yeah so im down with the cold, again. and this time im slightly feverish and so ive been feeling pretty terrible. sleeping really helps, and try as i do i cant seem to get any work done. i feel cold and hot at the same time and its just horrible. thank god for friends who make dinner for you when you're sick;)

have been watching alot of house lately, and i just realised the lure of hugh laurie. he IS hot, in that little arrogant but im damaged kind of way, and he's just so smart. and i love his little jokes.
woman: no i havent been having sex, so i cant be pregnant.
house: wow, immaculate conception
woman: what should i do?
house: well isnt it obvious? start a religion!
i like the part where he went on a date with cameron ( yes im only on season 1) cameron's seemingly innocent 'high sch teacher crush' on house turning into a need by cameron to make damaged cases right, wow what a lovely twist.

really want to get better so i can have my week-long celebration next week. ;) ah i hate being sick

天天都有落叶, 特别是今夜

;)i really had alot of fun this afternoon with may, preparing our songs for tonight. but no matter how i try to justify the (really really bad) performance today, it all comes down to this - i have a confession to make. i get really bad stage frights. and even though ive been on the stage a thousand times, with choir, sometimes alone, been in front of crowds, talking, teaching, presenting, i still get really bad butterflies in my stomach. and it shows. sigh, its not one of those things where you can just 'go ahead and do it and it'd be alright'. and its not one of those things you can simply hide away because it shows;)
hm maybe i should reconsider my plans of being a travelling musician :)

on another note: i have a new drink creation. haha. its lemon sorbet in cream earl grey tea;) i made may drink it and she said it was nice! so one more item down into the little recipe book of the future shop that cheryl and i are gonna set up. (although as i type she doesnt know of this concoction yet)
;)

yes, we can.

everything about him has been refreshing and uplifting; the fact that he's so young, that he's of colour; or the fact that his speech writer is merely 26 years old. i am a woman who wants my rights, and i never could figure out how to choose between him or clinton. how do you make america choose between fighting for women or the coloured? but watching this video under the enthusiastic urging of caleb really made me think-
there is still so much we can do. ;)

"and together, we will begin the next great chapter in the American story with three words that will ring from coast to coast; from sea to shining sea -- yes, we can."