do-mee-no

Everytime we had to marcato the Cantate I felt like I was going to say a very bad word.

People have been asking me what Im busy with, and I feel almost ashamed to say that im bumming around, and have been for the past month. Im not so sure what im busy with, but Amore definitely tops the list for the highest activity recorded in a week. my bed comes a close second.

-
And today I think I spotted a real life Carey Mulligan; a Lynn Barber; a Jenny Miller. Maybe a little unfair to put the label on her, but its one of those movies where the idea of it gets stuck in your head and you keep wondering if you'd ever do a 'Jenny', or as Bing puts it, 'Youth's folly'. I did want it to work out for jenny, I did want him to be her ticket out of her seemingly boring and stifled life. She just seemed to be much more than what she was getting, but alas, if its based on real life can it still be cliche?
(if you havent, do go catch 'An Education')

Or as Lenka sings it (yes Im still sore about Budak Pantai) "live like you're dying, and never stop trying. its all up to you, use whats been given to you"

in the wee small hours of the morning

i woke up today, and the air was cold. there was a nice cool breeze blowing through my living room. the sun looked strong, and i made iced milo for breakfast. all morning i felt a sense of nostalgia- as if it was the december holidays and my mum was going to bring me to some cool place today, probably tangs to see the christmas decorations or the science centre.

i let that feeling of nostalgia linger on for a little longer, before it disappears and i have to start my revision for the day.

bert and ernie

during my euphoria at showing everybody my disney crocs i tried to tell janice about the wonders of seasame street (and the lack thereof - they arent showing on okto anymore!!), and then i tried to sing her this song but she wouldnt stop staring at me (those cursed big eyes) and she made me feel funny so i stopped short of finishing the song.



besides now that theres a new baby in the family im quite excited to play aunty;)

i succumbed to crocs.

so the metro sale did me in. but i had finally succumbed to The Crocs, previously known as ThoseAwfullyLargeAndUglyPlasticSandalsThatEveryoneHas. i still remember when Quan Yifeng first wore it on TV and i couldnt believe that Mediacorp actually let her. needless to say i never understood my sister's fascination with them either. she must have, like, five pairs.
But hey, at least this one is mickey, and because its a kids version (Size 3, one size smaller than the biggest kids size!), the shoe doesnt have a big head. i wore it to breakfast this morning and i must say i was rather pleased with it. like a big kid who just bought a new thing! mickey mouse!

Long Live Disney.

lets take a better look, beyond our story book

yesterday my mum dragged me to go watch 'City of Life and Death', the film on the Nanjing Massacre. i tried to pull her to 'Julie and Julia'; i didnt want to watch something so depressing on a sunday morning. but as always, my mum's puppy eyes won.

i loved history back in TKGS because we got to study world wars and ive always thought them fascinating. not the torture techniques, i understand they're, in a way, inevitable and part of the war; but the whole idea of wars. invading a country and taking it by force, and claiming it as yours from then on.
but since 'The Pianist' ive kinda stopped watching war movies. i cant remember a war movie ive watched after that; been putting off 'Schindler's List' for the longest time now. it was as if 'The Pianist' has satisfied my then seeming insatiable appetite for war stories. that plus me imagining Japanese pulling off my fingernails.

The Nanjing Massacre was a horrifying account as far as the Chinese were concerned. Perhaps much so for the Japanese; i wondered if their conscience pricked at them when they raped those women and mass murdered those chinese soldiers. just a tinge?

halfway through the movie i wished for the movie to end. i kept wishing that it would end in the next frame, that Chuan Lu would decide that it was enough.

when the movie ended no one left the theatre for a long time. then they started showing the names of the characters, with their life years. it was then everyone realised that the characters in the show were real people, not simply the imagination of the playwright based on research. these were the stories of real people.
but what was comforting was that one little boy, who cheated death twice, survived to tell the tale.

"Death is easier than life." said the japanese soldier.

flashdance..what a feeling

today marks the end of my no-scratches-or-nearaccidents streak. i lightly bumped (lightly) a lorry in its rear, and some of its silver paint came off on my spoiler thing. the lorry uncle was nice enough to say 'my lorry nevermind its your car thats got abit' and i was only too anxious to say its alright.

and today janice and i detoured to jurong before finding the pie exit to get home. from clementi campus. thats how eros and anastacia do it baby!

i love jimny;) (and so does my dad)

"even if it means id have to face the queen"

winning tickets to Zee Avi must be the best thing that has happened to me since a long time, and i was absolutely thrilled to hear her sing, and as usual, they all sound better live than their cds. she kept making us do sing-alongs, something i must say singaopreans are rather good at. sadly i only know the lyrics to kantoi, ha.
somehow i didnt have to queue with other minions on the long queue and was ushered onto the VIP queue. ive never felt more privileged to be in the same queue (and ahead! cos i was first:D) with those socialites.

i have to say, she does have the cutest little brother.

im definitely going to frequent timbre more;) shirlyn and the unexpected is up on my to-do lists!

a beautiful mess

(it was on my itunes shuffle)

The Night of the Rebellion, we girls met at Royals Cafe and pondered (among many other things like if singapore is a one party state or one party dominant state) upon a perplexing question: we are all so hot and desirable(statement), so why is it that no guys are chasing us/chased us(question)?

we carefully reviewed each of the boys from our class and affirmed that none of them made any moves; gave flowers; or tiffany necklaces (hee).

That we put forth to our Aunt Agony hailed from Figaro Gardens. and to each of us he gave his insights (so matter of fact but i guess that helps) and told us how to remedy our, shall i say, uniqueness.
the hot babe: you look too high class (eug: huh what kind!)
yours truly: you look too dao
the cool one: you dont hang out enough with malays! (but surely under the block counts..)
the one perfectly happy the way she is: you.. just dont care right?

and why should we?

and i shall stop here in short of lapsing into what adibah calls my self proclaimed prophecy.
in short, boys are stupid, throw rocks at them. in long, i am working towards a bachelorette pad.

in nus com lab,

its my first time doing soemething schooly in nus so i thought i should commemorate it.

its nothing great, im still terribly bored in lecture, and we didnt even know how to get into the lab. we had to look really lost, so this girl would come and open the door for us. and then they made alot of noise so i felt slightly annoyed, oh monday blues.

now i have to go back to lecture.

semalam i call you, you tak answer.

so ive been driving (!) my new ride around singapore, but none by myself and without any banter between the three of us- me, the directionless driver; my dad, the director; and my mum, the backseat driver. and occasionally we argue with the gps, too. but its been fun, and ive had 'bitter heart' stuck in my head for the past two days, so ive been humming that while driving, until i discovered this song. now that i know the english translation to it i love it even more;) ahh zee avi ive underestimated you.

i had a really fun weekend, with baybeats and bing's birthday party. i actually even enjoyed today's salsa lesson; i giggled secretly at shaky boys' hands and others' uncoordinated steps. i do not want the week to start again sigh.

i dont want to fall apart today or ever,

today i realised how i love my friends very much and that im very lucky to have such good friends to hang out with and talk about everything under the sun with. school's a bore and my grouses about it never ceases; but my tiredness dies with good company, even if its over kfc and toomuchcream strawberry shortcake. i cant wait for the rest of my life to start ;)

a triangle trying to squeeze through a circle

to be honest i was quite happy to go to school; home was boring me and i wasnt doing anything productive. now that im back in the system i find that i just go back to my old ways.

today we were learning about Singapore's Criminal Justice System and a Senior DPP even dropped by. but further into his lecture I realised- the 97% conviction rate is and will be so because of the system. the prosecution has an upper hand and crime control is simply an efficient yet heartless way for a criminal justice system. its not just the fact that we dont have the right to remain silent (silence may be inferred as a guilty conscience; this is shared in uk as well); but more on the various presumptions made against the defendant and the lack of rights that is accorded to the accused. true, i dont know enough to do a comparative study, im merely sharing an intuitive feel i got at the lecture. sure the justifications for the various measures were, well, well justified; but they are that. a utilitarian system is truly flawed and even as i marvel at Bentham's intelligence, I seem to see more faults than not with the principles and system of utilitarianism.

but as judy turned to me to lament about the lack of fundamental liberties, i explained to her the crime control system that singapore employs; and after some discussion i say "well that's just the way things are."

it seems like i will be saying that alot more in the future?

all done!

OKAY its all pretty much done. ive updated the links (some,) and added some stuff. too bad the bookshelf thing doesnt change by itself, but oh wells. i couldnt find another one.

;) im actually quite proud of myself!

dottedness

its like when girls go for haircuts, wardrobe rehauls and makeovers; my blog needed a facelift as well. hence, tadaa! i did get this off blogskins (thank you) but i twinkered around with it, although i realised that i dont have the links to the blogs anymore. that will take a while to fill in. im tired.

i really love my friends, and all the girl nights we have. the junk food is getting to me though, but i really appreciate how we still make the effort to hang out together;) and of course, the bridge mahjong poker, and gossip. ah, what are girlfriends for right! too bad we couldnt get any sun.

school tmr, again. i hope it gets more interesting.

muhna muhna!

its bing, she did it.

well i finally unpacked clothes and shoes! :) :) yes that is a huge achievement, thank you very much. now its just the small itsby bitsy stuff which ive been procrastinating.

but in any case, heres a song to cheer everyone up;)

finally, a time to breathe.

i have to say that the last few days in london and the first few days upon touching down hasnt been easy. the knowledge of your life in limbo isnt exactly easy to handle for a girl who has always been about the black and white; the knowing and not knowing. the thought of graduating without a life plan scares me.

but;) today i have two good news;) i heard from my law firm(my!) and NUS(about time lah).

so, starting august 11th, i will be a student at National University of Singapore. and come January, a pupil at KhattarWong.

ah, wish me luck. ;) here's to working life!

she-e-ryy (sherry baby)

its been quite a cold summer, or at least it hasnt been warm worthy since i got back, and now i have to leave soon so id never know if it ever gets warm in london during summer. my dad and sis have left for singapore and now its just me and my mum (and a rat, which my mum is convinced lives within my walls, sorry may) in cold summery london, packing up my room.

it was fun having my family over, and of course, graduating. the feeling of ive-got-what-it-takes-to-tackle-the-world-now hasnt really come to me because really, i might be looking at unemployment for a while (yes, even with a lse degree, which really scares me) but the fact is, i have graduated. i made friends that i really liked, lost a friend that i liked, and added on facebook my eye candy, so i guess its been three years of growing up on my own and trying to find my way around. but i know that even if i am down, id have my family to fall back on, not that they can offer me any strings to pull, but just that i can count on them to be there for me; and my friends, haha, for all the laughter and senseless nonsense, and the relieve knowing that some people in my life are probably going to be in my life for a long time to come. ;)

(and i realised that this might be the last of my post under the label 'life in london')

Truly singaporean

Im in a queue, half an hr earlier than the stated opening time, and im third in line. Strangely the two ladies before me are european; i had expected asians to be hogging the queue way ahead of everyone else. But oh wells:) this is a much better way to spend my jetlagged mornings than surfing internet randomly. Besides, then my sis wont have to complain that i 'lied to her' bout her maybe not being able to get a ticket to my graduation ceremony!

25 mins more. Oh time hurry up!

the unbearable lightness of being

on the night my grandma was supposed to return (ie. the 7th day), a big brown butterfly flew into my second uncle's house and settled on the wall nearest to her big armchair. my cosin who was sitting on the chair freaked out and ran away, saying 'ah ma's come back!'. i marvelled slightly at the beauty of it all, and suddenly felt like i finally understood (or at least at peace with) the mysteries of afterlife and death.

my grandma went with a smile on her face; a smile that i had so seldom seen when she was alive. the suddenness of it all makes me feel like i havent felt her departure; it just seems like shes gone on a holiday, just as my aunt had said.

at least we know she's happy, forever;)

---
going back to singapore made me realise that i've changed (and so has she). coming back to london now made me realise that singapore is really my home. i do love my london room, i feel so much more at ease in this room than the room back home (sorry mum) but its a place i made my own; it isnt mine.

the good thing about singapore is that my appetite goes back to what it was - small, which i hope will help me lose that dreadful muffin top:(

Sun and more sun

waiting to go into morocco right now; in a few minutes we'd be on our way to the tarifa port to board our ferry. Quite excited about our little adventure into morocco, and oh well rachel is done with her internet so we shd go off soon:)

ah, hammams and couscous:)

big city streets are calling me loud-

heard a young man singing freely below my window, loud and proud, so i went to take a look:) well this world never ceases to amaze me. it was an old man, limping along with a walking stick, and then he stopped right outside my house for a while. (i think he was trying to pick up some girls/women). then he continued on, singing, in that young man's voice, and limping, in the body of an old man. a strange yet liberating sight to watch.
so nice ;)

so im all packed, and ready to take on the world! (and moroccan carpets. apparently they're very good at selling carpets! so says lonely planet. i quote "even the hardest minded of all tourists will find themselves inclining towards buying one once they step into the shop" when i pointed this out everyone seemed to point it back towards me. hello i know i am a shopaholic but not THAT bad! besides clothes are hard enough to lug back to singapore, much less a carpet.)
anw the read for the trip- the unbearable lightness of being. the first chapter got me thinking already :)


edit: i heard him again! my young sounding old man.

quickie

before i head out again for more errands/hanging out/the dreadful s word (the latter which got me into trouble with my mummy) but oh wells im happy and erm, she will be.

so its been coming to two weeks since ive finished my exams, and ive done absolutely nothing really productive, except cleared up my room a bit and packed stuff a bit and threw away stuff a bit. ive been thinking about which clothes to keep and i havent decided yet. watched some movies and absolutely loved star trek (which i watched twice, once in imax, booyeah!) and yes, kim possible (evidently, if any of you still watch disney).

im really excited bout my backpacking trip, even though i think we're still rather princessy by true backpackers' standards. i have no idea how grimey id be but i really hope i wont be too smelly by the time i get to oslo. and i really cant wait. packing the bag is giving me a headache, every item i pack i think twice and hard before putting it back in. and i seem to be spending alot even before ive gone on the trip. but all's good;)

andd it seems so exciting now that everyone's got their life laid out for the next few years. with every step i take im reevaluating myself and my life choices; with every choice i see my friends make im re-evaluating my choices and myself.
;)

summer loving had me a blast

summer is here:) glorious, hot, sweaty sunshine. it was raining so much before this that ive forgotten how summer was supposed to be. the new london sun makes it quite difficult for me to focus on my last paper (which is anything but what ive been doing, really) but meeting my tutor today has put things into perspective again. plus ive finished watching all my shows and have to find new shows to watch. i highly recommend 30 rock, they deserve more viewership ratings than they have!

ive also been doing alot of shameless online shopping. so out of guilt two days ago i cleared out some stuff and put them into a duffel bag and started taking pictures so i can sell them on ebay. andddd- ive already sold two items! (cant believe you people are willing to buy my stuff..) but then again those stuff are really rather new and mostly are unused, so i guess i should have done this long ago huh!

i cant wait to enjoy my summer :)

tonight, you belong to me

;) just discovered that cute little song through random youtube surfing. yes, it is steve martin singing! i will always remember him as the guy from that movie we (my family) loved to watch when i was younger. the one with the sequels and then his wife and his daughter got pregnant at the same time. (not as mr pink panther).
and then i started clicking on all the different covers of the song. mostly are done in the 60s so all from vinyls it seems.

so, i went through all four seasons of criminal minds and hence im left with no more online entertainment. just in time for the last stretch of exams i guess;( OR, i could start with 30 rock, hm.

i am totally surviving on one meal a day. studying keeps me alive!

now or never

once you get past my obsession with greys im not really that weird a person. but the ending was the ultimate cliffhanger- what will greys do without both izzie and george!

in other news, my smalley (aka eeepc) dropped and i just realised the back lid came open. i cant seem to close it and something jingles inside. best thing is i cant seem to find my tool box and im willing myself not to run downstairs to the mama shop and buy a mini screwdriver. shall exercise willpower to stay in my room.

ah my last weekend as a lse student.

the wedding!

ah omg the website on meredith's and derek's wedding! :)

igiveup.

help. printer died.

ps. lulu was so sweet he found the song and sent it to me! :) aw flattie love.

no good at saying sorry (one more chance)

when i die my orbituary shall list 'Grey's Anatomy' as one of the many great things that happened to me. (others, im thinking, are 'Ingrid Michaelson, Caramel Corn snack, sv trip and the ECP)

the latest episode of greys is absolutely beautiful. short of me ranting on and on- i think greys has saved themselves with the recent scripts. although i will still love to see george have a little bit more screentime. i especially love what chief said to meredith about not standing up for her; and then hunt and 'the three words' that he cannot say.
and the song 'turn and turn again' by bailey tzuke/all thieves/rollo. i cant seem to find it anywhere except on their myspace.

someone told me recently that the saddest people watch the most tv. but id rather say im the saddest when i watch tv. ian once commented that its so lame that i quote greys as my emotional upbringing; but to me its the same as reading poetry or hearing a really good piece of music. it makes me think, a lot, about my own life, the choices that i made, and the choices im going to make.

plus they have great music :)

International labour day

So i was reading pashukanis and trying to wrap my mind around marxist jurisprudence, and then i heard some noises from the street just outside. Anddd i saw the karl marx's face on a huge banner:) and tons of national communist parties. Trade unions too.

How apt! feeling more inspired to trudge through the general theory of law and marxism now:)

and so it goes, and so it goes.

yesterday i gave up and went back home early. really early. but then lulu was home and shortly after mayling came home, so my guilt dissipated x100:) fyi i was already tucked in bed by 4. im not very proud of it but hey i did read a bit while i was on my bed.

anw im realy excited now about watching the king's singers come june. im so glad we bought the tickets already:) i keep rewatching their rendition of 'short people' and i keep getting imageries of versitility (haha man that was so long ago!) singing it and debbie jumping around. or was it yingtee?

i feel lousy for being this hermit during exams (quote my georgetown friend "girl i heard all about lse ppl and exams") but well, two weeks more!

FW: blogging onthego

-original message-
Subject: blogging onthego
From: teojiayun@gmail.com
Date: 27-04-2009 11:55

such n addictive thing to do-snap and blog, all from your phone! Im not showing off, just trying to show you guys the (pathetic) place im studying at. Couldnt/didnt want to get up today, and even though judy was here really early to do her rounds... Anw long story short our room got stolen today, and we're relegated to studying outside. Theres some drilling going on outside, and the platform we're on shakes whenever someone walks on it or smthg.

And all i really want now is some good old chinatown in my empty stomach:(

sigh should have woken up early today.

In other news, i had a great time at singapore day; eating and meeting (new) people. it really makes me think, that singapore is only so young, and how much further we can go as a country. Are we participating as citizens without knowledge of the law. Can we really teach law as a subject in schools? Surprisingly im rather cynical of how far more we can progress ('why are you looking at singapore through a white man's lens!') and maybe i should reevaluate my views. Ive always thought of myself as someone whos open and somewhat a rebel towards organised ideas, but maybe im not as liberal as i think i am. well, i wait in anticipation for my re-integration back into the singapore system come sept:)
then it was dear kevin's birthday celebrations, and man i havent laughed so hard in such a long time. I might have a little drunk from downing that small glass of wine though... But im glad i went:)

but for now, its schoool and more books. oh why isnt chinatown nearer!

Testing

location: new academic building 2nd floor toilet, second from the right.
"going to war to prevent war is the most stupid thing i've ever heard"

fire burns, you cool me down.

our study room got stolen today. ive been alternating between super-sleepy-by-10pm or insomnia-until-4am; but no fear, because my body clock demands that i wake up at 530am everyday. im not sure what im doing to my body, but i do know that my morning runs havent been materialising, and that i am, officially just putting energy into my body and not burning anything. school is too near to walk anything off!

and no i havent stopped watching the marvel/dc videos. i really do find it funny why doesnt anyone else think so!

but i just saw this on tv and i felt so happy watching it so i thought id share:) top gear football!

iloveyoutube.

im never one to youtube and watch videos the whole day. until i discovered these:

I'm a DC... I'm a Marvel

and the whole series of it. hee.

The Dark Knight Trailer in Lego

so throw me a rope to hold me in place

its so strange how i was so tired the nights before that ive been sleeping by 10pm , and then today i get a serious bout of insomnia.

im immensely enjoying listening to my new cds (i thought i bought jem's new cd, turns out i didnt), and ray lamontagne is constantly on repeat. that or the love actually soundtrack. i love love ray, he sounds like he's actually lived life and is telling it through music. he looks like it too, but i doubt thats in any relation to having lived life.

i tried to do some light reading to get drowsy (cue: medical law) but it was so boring i put it down after one article.

this afternoon i had old vjchoir songs on my itunes as i studied. cloudburst still gives me goosebumps; and i strangely enjoyed listening to the hebrew songs we did for sov. i didnt use to like it particulary, i guess when you're younger singing big bombastic songs were the only thing that mattered (or so i thought). but now listening back to the recordings, i thought our sound really suited the hebrew pieces.
i cant wait to sing again.
reminds me of how the same song can sound different and mean different things in different times. just like joni mitchell's both sides now, which i think is probably one of the best songs ever, just because when you hear the older version of it you can always feel her weariness of the world.

im not too sure this post has a point. ;)

or i guess, the point is that- IM STUDYING HARD.

trouble been dogging my soul since the day i was born

i zonked out at 1030 last night and woke up at 530 this morning. its been raining since yesterday here in london, so pretty gloomy day to be studying so hard.

but this morning i opened my email and i saw a link to a website from dear nab;) i glad for that timely reminder (not that im studying so hard i havent been having fun, last night we did carbonara and watched ami) to, well, take a step back and have a good look at the bigger picture, at life.
end of life issues have always been hard for me (cue: medical law; greys). but as i watched the videos i felt as if i was infringing on their privacy. their love for each other seemed like such a private matter, something too private to be shared perhaps? just like how i felt when i was reading a book on love letters by erm i cant rem who now.
beautiful nonetheless, and somehow addictive. it almost feels like you're doing something you shouldnt be doing. and then your brain conjures up imageries of these strangers, as if you already know what they're like and the lives they've had. the most hearwrenching bits are the juxtaposed pictures of them in their healthy happy, almost carefree selves and then the next one of them not so.
http://www.lifebeforedeath.sg/honouring.html
i guess, at the end of it all, thats the whole point - to love and be loved. and im glad my dear nab has found someone to share her life with ;) now im wishing the same for all my dearest peoples as well. in any case, ecp and me will always be there!

gah.

school is still closed, and only reopens on thurs. which means im stuck in the library, ah the bane of my existence. horror of horrrors, people were actually crowding around waiting for it to open! sadly i was one of them.

then i was lamenting about how i hate the library, and my friend said 'you're just not as dedicated..'

am i studying or what

so, the whole of london was closed from thurs-monday, or well, at least school was closed so that to me means london was closed cos im stuck at home trying to study but then theres top gear all the time on tv (i even caught the repeat of repeat episodes) so really, hardworking i am not.

anw, ive been meaning to say this for the longest time. my neighbour looks like mark sloan. if you dont know who mark sloan is, then, well. seriously.
he's a father of two kids and his wife is actually quite hot. ive only just worked out that they own the hair salon downstairs (i think.) you see, london is so small that i can actually see into their house (im directly opposite their kitchen and the kid's bedroom) as im sure they can see into my room and see that im not doing work at all and spend all my time on my bed. but hey, i get to see a carbon copy of mark sloan. besides their kid is really cute and he used to play with his train set which was right next to the window. now they've replaced it with some new toy i dont know what.

im quite sure he isnt actually eric dane cos he's here all the time, and his british accent is quite strong. although he smiled at me once when we met each other out on the streets, that was quite nice.

oh, bother.

my parents went to ubin this morning. they've officially outdone me- i havent even been there myself!!

this is what happens when you have a father who doesnt look like he's aged at all, and a mum who's fitter (in the british sense) than you.

mental note to self: will outdo my kids too. (hello mummy is going st james tonight dont wait up!)

in the wee small hours of the morning

mayling was so sweet- she brought me to a jazz and big band concert as my birthday present! :) stacey kent was really quite good; the BBC Big Band was rather entertaining, and then of course we spent half the time laughing at the drummer (who looks like a grown-up human version of Dexter) and a trombonist (who looks like Chandler when he was skinny and had a moustache). Dexter, i swear, looks like hes about to seize everytime the song ends with a big finish. it was absolutely thrilling to watch.

stacey kent looks so pixie, and her voice flows so effortlessly. we both liked her last song- in the wee small hours of the morning.

we were the youngest audience by a far age gap; the next youngest audience seemed to be around 40 years old. so may and i decided that we shall have to watch more of these concerts before music like these die out (literally, musicians get old too!) by the time we get old. seriously man, 'old music' for our generation will probably be britney spears doing her 50 years anniversary concert or something.

but, i just like to dream

i cant stop listening to jem's flying high, theres something very beautiful about the song. sadly beautiful. also because i was tired and tried to sleep, but i cant seem to fall asleep.

i wonder if people still believe in The One, or as you age you simply find someone to be with. what are people thinking when they pick people up: love at first sight, maybe luck, or do they not trust this grand notion we call love, so much so they take it into their own hands. for ive always thought you'd know if someone is The One.
but i doubt that anyone who doesnt do anything is any different from them.

perhaps the feeling of feeling alive, being in the moment; dreaming up a thousand different possibilities of what might bes, what could bes, and what will bes- thats what love does to you.
but that isnt love.

then sometimes i think that, that part of me is done. ive loved, and therefore i am done.

how i wish i could write beautiful songs too;)

though her home is on the surface she is still a universe

there! i made lunch in a box! how cool :)
but no, fried bee hoon tastes quite bad when its cold. i have to think of something better to put in it. and yes, a pretty lunch box is a motivation to actually use it. and yes, sadly, fried bee hoon is what ive been eating the whole week, although i think im properly sick of it already.

the end of my first study week.

if you know what i mean

ive been studying in school of late (okay fine, two days in a row, and today i didnt stay for very long) and when i get home im so drained that all i want to do is have dinner and then curl up in bed. which, is what ive been doing (its only 9pm and im already in pyjamas and tucked in bed, pretending to get some work done) and i think lulu has been a bit alarmed whenever he comes into my room and see me all tucked in bed. today i think he just shook his head.

anw i realised that at the end of a long tiring day, all i want is just some really, good, porn. yes, somethiing to perk you up, to cheer you up, alongside with a dish of sweet suckling strawberries.

and i have just the right thing for all you girls out there. (bet rai's excited now). guys can try it too but im sure you all already know it.




TOP GEARRRR.
yes, that alpha-male, fast speed, pulse-racing, adrenaline pumping show. forget the cars, watch the way they talk about the cars instead, and oh just indulge in their very sexy british wit. i get very excited when they rattle off the specs on a car; i long to sit and experience the sensation of being in the car they're raving (or not, which is often) about; they make me laugh, which is, very sexy. im in no way suggesting that any of them is, well, desirable (i think jeremy clarkson is balding..), but im saying the show, is ah!, well. you know what i mean.

now isnt that what porn is all about!

lets get rich and give everyone nice sweaters and teach them how to dance

and so it is that ive started studying for exams- although i would very much like to say 'studying hard for exams' but sadly that has not been the case. judy will be very ashamed of me when she finds out that ive woken up so late today; we were supposed to meet for lunch to motivate each other to be in school to study, but well well, its 11 already so i figured oh wells id be in sch after lunch then.

ive fallen in love with ingrid's music all over again, thanks to eug ;) and i think, i do want not to worry; have love to pay for bills; do what bunnies do; get rich and buy my parents a house in the southern france; build a house on a mountain and make everybody look like ants.
what wisdom!

i wish you bluebirds in the spring

with the song 'i wish you love' (rachael yamagata's cover) in our heads (at least in mine and cheryl's), we set off for greece, unpsyched, unprepared, and without any expectations. true enough, we bummed around in athens, and in my bouts of nauseau on the first day from all the travelling i gave my most "du lan" face; then there was the 8 hours ferry ride to Santorini at 7am in the morning the next day. the trip, was, in short, tiring.

i wouldnt do it all over again, but I will definitely visit Santorini again. the town, Oia (pronounced Eeeyaaaa), was weepingly beautiful, with the trademark whitewashed houses set along the cliffs, and the sunset just right next to it- the world's most beautiful sunset indeed. one day i would love to go back and get lost in the town, walk through all the dog-faeces path into little knacks and pockets of little doors that seemed to lead to no houses; or just sit, and admire the view.

of course the second highlight of the trip was Captain Slow (shawnie's very proud of me that i made a Top Gear joke), or Bimb (without the 'o', cos spelling doesnt go with the character), depending on my mood, which shall henceforth be my new petname for my lover (and yes, im still calling you my lover despite elderly objections). we had a good time teasing her and giving her a long string of names (Captain slow- nerd- Bimb- Awesome!-ambitious but not overly driven- of Upper Bukit Timah) but really, i nearly had a heart attack seeing her crash her ATV. the rest was funny (the tyre burn smoke from Cher that irritated my eyes, she held the brakes the whole time!; me trying not to crash into her whenever she brakes; the return journey that didnt require the use of the accelerator at all hahaha), just the crashing part, not.
but ah what memories if not for this ditz.

meet: My Newest Husband

among many others (georgie, hugh..) , i know, but hey, i cant help that they're sexy.

so it was last night where i added Joshua Radin to the list of sexy men that i want to, well, (wed is a rather strong word.. so how about) have as an imaginary husband. his speaking voice is incredibly sexy, and he has that twinkle in his eyes (or imagined twinkle cos i was not very near); and he is funny.

so heres for eug;)

oh lover, i'm lost

this week's greys featured the song 'duet' by rachael yamagata and ray lamontagne- its currently a favourite of mine and i was absolutely thrilled to hear it on greys. its about time derek stops being the rock of everybody; seeing him crumble makes him seem more human. just when i thought greys was getting stale;)

so jiax came and left; my essays written and handed in; paris trip gone and over.

hanging out with jiax and may made me feel like i was back in jc all over again; seeing each other 24/7 (twas the life of a chorister); making each other laugh over the silliest of things; and spending too much time in useless shops picking up anything and everything. 1130-1900 from my place and we got as far as oxford circus.

i fell in love, for the fourth time, with les miserables again. not having the luxury of west end down my street will be the biggest thing i miss from london.

the finality of my undergraduate studies is actually here! yay?

as the end draws near,

and so it was that i attended my last law ball, and my last vine night. it didnt really occurred to me until i was walking back home last night, barefooted, with my new swinging heels in my hands that i realised- hell these are my lasts.

and so i decided to become a little more active on facebook, cos, its really the only way to keep track of the people you've met and want to keep in contact with (or stalk) in the future.


law ball was such a last minute affair - getting the tickets, the shopping, down to the very last minute of preparing for the ball, which involved mainly the Crisis of the Shoe That Wouldnt Fit. in the end, with the lovely help of my lover, and two and a half insoles, the shoe fits!
cinderella my foot.
it was quite fun meeting (new) people, talking to my tutors, and seeing jerald run away from a girl. as judy said, it was rather like a girls night out, and for that im thankful ;)

at vine night i discovered a younger self of gurmit singh, who was so lovable even the boys were falling for him. of course, dancing in heels was not a very smart idea, and for the neutron dance (up down kick down) my shoe flew off. nope, not very glam. but ah, i hope vine survives our generation!

you got me begging you for mercy oh why wont you release me

so, i woke up early today to actually go for a class that i missed yesterday. the grand plan was to hand up my essay today (since there was no way i could have finished it yesterday) - and well, lets just leave it at that. anyway, it seems that good things come to people who wake up early (karma! or the bird thing), cos there was a really cute irish guy in the class;)
ah.

then i spent my lunch break between trying to get waiter's attention at cafe rouge, and shopping at covent for a dress for the law ball. i bought my dress in the last five minutes of our shopping, hows that for decisiveness ;)

now with all that settled i can finally get back to thinking about my essay(s). and debate. and coursework.
the work never stops!!

love, actually is all around

ive put off watching love actually for a really long time now, for reasons many- i had watched it too many times; kiat was synonymous with the signboards; and that i actually lost faith in the notion of love, really.

but phlegm in your throat does funny things to you, as with the spinning head and that clogged nose that threatens to upset your entire body system. rosh and i had tried to watch it last weekend, but then youku.com was acting up on us, so when i discovered that i still had it on my hard disk, i thought what better way to end my week than to watch love actually with a tin of ben's cookies, on my bed.

im glad for my shitty memory, because watching it again this time round (which must have been like my fifth time) felt like i was watching it for, almost, the first time. i knew the scenes, i knew the stories and the characters, but i still felt pleasantly surprised by the order of the scenes and little dialogues that i hadnt remembered; also the subtleties-the stories seemed richer, i could imagine a thousand different ways of what could be different; and i could identify with the places and the lovely ways of the english. and i got reminded of how much i loved this little boy and his gorgeous big eyes, and the moment he says 'whats worse than the agony of being in love?'

so perhaps i have let myself down for a long time now, and it does seem like a long time since to be picking up the pieces and collecting myself up, bit by bit. well bit by bit is just fine. ah, the wise tales of a third year student;) studying is good for your soul!

why hugh jackman is love

nothing sweet about me

all i want to do is to have a long good sleep. it seems like ive had alot on my mind- work related- and i feel like im still having a sleep debt from that night after judy's party. oxford for the weekend was a good getaway, and of course any time spent with my darling is time well spent. im still sorry for my 'poor' choice of movie, ahhaha, 'hard candy' is hardly a light jolly movie to relax into at the end of a week. besides, i think anders is traumatised for life (cue: castration segment)

i think im much happier this year. i feel im much better settled down, with school work (although i joked that 'i go to lse, sometimes'), with friends, with finding stuff to do in london, and of course, finding my way around london:) the night after judy's party i somehow ended up at westminster bridge, but thames river did not disappoint, and i am a little bewildered it took me three years to see this side of london.

another side of london that i was glad to have found- brick lane! or rather, the vintage stores around it. im glad i didnt cancel on lover even though i was really quite tired that day. i cant wait to wear my scarves, bags (yes, plural), and ooh i cant wait to go back again and just spend the whole day looking at those gorgeous (too long) dresses, running my hands through the silky scarves, or just playing with all the intricate clasps and knuckles of the old bags. i dream about my own fashion line and how vintage-inspired they'd be- oh but what a dream.

four more weeks of lent term, but with the weather warming up, and all the concerts (rachael yamagata!) and plans coming up (miss sung!) - cant wait;)

meanwhile, back to jurisprudence.

is love alive, is love.

ah my life- its been work and then nights of top gear/csi on tv. i actually forgot about last week's greys until eug spoke about it in her email;) i felt so lousy with all the work that i made a pan of betty crocker- that was last tuesday. and its still on my table, in my room. i sleep to the taste of betty in my mouth, and i wake up to the smell of it. lovely.

chap goh meh

i got reminded that its the 15th day of the lunar new year today, and this is what is supposed to happen:
im not that big into the specifics, but roughly this should be it lah. (how cool is it that i managed to find a picture of him burrowing through the crowd!) technically he should get the tangerine soon since we're only separated by the atlantic ocean.

yup.

'continued

the rest of it all. (yes this is all.)
to think after spending all that money- this was done on an expired roll of film which i bargained with the mama shop uncle for just 50pence. he was very reluctant.
and yes, the panoramic size was not intended. ;)

on the phone with jess the other day and we were just lamenting on how short this term is going to be/already is. already people are making graduation plans (by that i mean prom dress)- for me i just cant wait to be back home.

and i dont know if my mum is really afraid of me being lesbian or hiding another affair from her, but my msn nickname spelt out the first line of the song 'duet' and she promptly asked "whos the lover!??!" (exclamation marks not my own emphasis)
ah mother.

my pretty diana+

Presenting, the first (real) set of pictures from my very beautiful diana+. okay, so i wasted quite a bit of film, getting the 35mm film to work was a little tricky, and then theres the elusive sun in london which the diana loves (and needs); but i guess the efforts are worth it, although i only have a few pictures that worked(i played around with the settings alot and hence got alot of rubbish pictures)- i guess we all have to start somewhere!

in other news, im hooked on top gear. damn you shawnie.

pout, twist, and jiggle

so all the snow's melted and gone; school in full swing (once again (im not a model student)); and i recently discovered a new hobby (but theres recession so i cannot eat out/buy new grunge clothes)
fyi the grunge look isnt working very well. ive exhausted all my black/bad-attitude clothes.

being "snowed in" for two days (yay no school) was quite fun; i felt like a little kid who's constantly in marvel of the whiteness of london. i find myself yelping like a lost puppy whenever i see a new area of white london. i only wished i had charged my camera- it died on me after only taking ten shots;(
thank god for wellingtons!
(i kept trying to write 'hello sexy' on cars. hee)

then it got irritating when it all melted into ice. lover was ice-skating along the streets. funny sight, but quite poor thing lah;)

and we just watched midsummer night's dream;) im not sure how i feel about modernised plays, except for the fact that im thankful i can understand shakespearean language this way. but seeing a shakepeare play in today's clothes and jokes(which was funny!) is rather, strange.

oh joy!

alot of things to be deliriously happy about- i know, strange to be blogging so many times in a day, but:

it snowed really heavily in london :) and i got to play snowball! first was when we left cher's house, and we managed to get cher out of the house to play a bit haha. then may and i sauntered home, and the snow got heavier and heavier. we figured it was no fun playing alone, so we called all the ppl who stays near us (shame on you jerald) and we went to play snowballing at lincoln's inn. we even had a mini comrade-ish snowball fight- girl flatmates against evil boy.

AND i got to make my snow angel!

on our way back may mistook tristan for some homeless will-snatch-our-camera-and-run-away guy (haha). see what happens when you wear a beanie and look all unshaven!

then,
i finished watching slumdog millionaire. i believe its the best movie ive watched in a long time. the first half of the movie i watched it mostly with my hand over my mouth in disbelief, and shock, too. the kids are really adorable though, especially the young jamal. and of course it has a happy (romantic) ending, and even a complimentary banghra dance at the end of it;)
and i realised this isnt the first movie of the director (danny boyle) that ive watched.

ah, now im just waiting for school tmr to be cancelled :D

its that beautiful-

light, fluttering snow on a sunny winter day. and watching the snow dance around in the brightness of day from inside my warm toasty room.

seventhday

hereby marks the end of my (incredibly sinful and indulgent) chinese new year celebrations. and to mark that i woke up at 7am today, a feat that will go down in history cos i dont think id be able to repeat it anytime soon. if only you knew what time ive been waking up for the past few days..

so. i ate too much, slept too much, went out too much, and went school too little.

i had dinner with The Flatmates (smirk) last night, and i do think it was quite nice, even though it was just hare and tortoise, and may and i each brought our respective other-half; but cos we can be such a functional household sometimes it was just nice to have a meal out, together. ;) id forgive you lulu, for not even tearing at the last episode of greys.

新年快乐

今年的新年有所不同；静了些，吃得多，还打了一点的麻将。 但新的一年，意念还是一样：就是，快乐就好！

new ring on my finger

so school ended on wednesday, and i havent really been as hardworking as i wanted to be since then. yes its the case of 'i have alot of time so id take some time off to myself' and then it leads to 'oh hey the weekend is over!' and of course the inevitable 'damn sch starts tmr'.

its the cny weekend, how to do work!

i rather like my quiet time at night - yes wearing the ring at home is just me being frivilous (but oh so pretty- everyone please go support the sale at les nereides), but i miss reading.

and
huam says if i go to school on cny i will lose the whole year - 书=输。

my date.

ive been dating Tom for, hm about a day now, and all i can say is that Tom isnt good company. Not that Tom is good company for any girl, really. Even before we started, you could see the symptoms already. I was down, energy was low, and jetlag didnt help at all (which im still going through, i know, a week already, but oh.so.tired.every.time.its.6pm). well, i blame Tom for all the bad things im feeling right now (and also for the failed pandan cakes oh why wont they rise!) and also my lousy appetite.

watching sleepless in seattle helped a bit- i dont think i love it as much as i love other romantic classics, but the boy is so adorable i think that made me happy for a while.

haha, and oh wells, i should get over my jetlag. or at least try to!

be ok

im terribly jetlagged;( there was one night i slept at 7pm, not terribly proud of it cos i still slept till bout 8am. but i slept at 11pm last night and i woke up at 5am today. sigh i think thats going to be my life for sometime.

havent been having an appetite for a few days now, but yesterday we had a brainwave (thanks to shawnie) to make roti john. !! it was really good, and i think that whetted my appetite really well, so tonight we're making seafood crumble from the waitrose winter cookbook. life seems to be perking itself up!

workwise im sure it'd perk up soon enough.

absolutely miserable;(

london is as grey as it can ever be, and im feeling just as about there as well. now im not sure if i ever want to leave home ever again; the feeling of being back in singapore was just too good. not that i was entirely familiar with the things back in singapore, alot of things did change (irritating young punks, taxi fares, and the shopping) but then again alot of the things were still as i remembered it to be- hawker food, the humidity, and channel 8. how i miss the refrain of little nyonya right now ;)

ah just give me a few more hours to unravel myself before i head off to The School!

objects of desire II

4. qi yu wu
5. guy with taiwanese accent- very sexy

i hate how i can actually see my departure- its been really fun, maybe too much fun cos i feel like i havent been home to see my dad (and sis) for the longest time. but oh wells, weekends were made free for them. and in the meantime im getting to see my favourite people again and again, so im happy.

i feel like i have tons of things to say, but my cup noodles are waiting.