Friday, April 17, 2009

trouble been dogging my soul since the day i was born

i zonked out at 1030 last night and woke up at 530 this morning. its been raining since yesterday here in london, so pretty gloomy day to be studying so hard.

but this morning i opened my email and i saw a link to a website from dear nab;) i glad for that timely reminder (not that im studying so hard i havent been having fun, last night we did carbonara and watched ami) to, well, take a step back and have a good look at the bigger picture, at life.
end of life issues have always been hard for me (cue: medical law; greys). but as i watched the videos i felt as if i was infringing on their privacy. their love for each other seemed like such a private matter, something too private to be shared perhaps? just like how i felt when i was reading a book on love letters by erm i cant rem who now.
beautiful nonetheless, and somehow addictive. it almost feels like you're doing something you shouldnt be doing. and then your brain conjures up imageries of these strangers, as if you already know what they're like and the lives they've had. the most hearwrenching bits are the juxtaposed pictures of them in their healthy happy, almost carefree selves and then the next one of them not so.
http://www.lifebeforedeath.sg/honouring.html
i guess, at the end of it all, thats the whole point - to love and be loved. and im glad my dear nab has found someone to share her life with ;) now im wishing the same for all my dearest peoples as well. in any case, ecp and me will always be there!

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