finally, a time to breathe.

i have to say that the last few days in london and the first few days upon touching down hasnt been easy. the knowledge of your life in limbo isnt exactly easy to handle for a girl who has always been about the black and white; the knowing and not knowing. the thought of graduating without a life plan scares me.

but;) today i have two good news;) i heard from my law firm(my!) and NUS(about time lah).

so, starting august 11th, i will be a student at National University of Singapore. and come January, a pupil at KhattarWong.

ah, wish me luck. ;) here's to working life!

she-e-ryy (sherry baby)

its been quite a cold summer, or at least it hasnt been warm worthy since i got back, and now i have to leave soon so id never know if it ever gets warm in london during summer. my dad and sis have left for singapore and now its just me and my mum (and a rat, which my mum is convinced lives within my walls, sorry may) in cold summery london, packing up my room.

it was fun having my family over, and of course, graduating. the feeling of ive-got-what-it-takes-to-tackle-the-world-now hasnt really come to me because really, i might be looking at unemployment for a while (yes, even with a lse degree, which really scares me) but the fact is, i have graduated. i made friends that i really liked, lost a friend that i liked, and added on facebook my eye candy, so i guess its been three years of growing up on my own and trying to find my way around. but i know that even if i am down, id have my family to fall back on, not that they can offer me any strings to pull, but just that i can count on them to be there for me; and my friends, haha, for all the laughter and senseless nonsense, and the relieve knowing that some people in my life are probably going to be in my life for a long time to come. ;)

(and i realised that this might be the last of my post under the label 'life in london')

Truly singaporean

Im in a queue, half an hr earlier than the stated opening time, and im third in line. Strangely the two ladies before me are european; i had expected asians to be hogging the queue way ahead of everyone else. But oh wells:) this is a much better way to spend my jetlagged mornings than surfing internet randomly. Besides, then my sis wont have to complain that i 'lied to her' bout her maybe not being able to get a ticket to my graduation ceremony!

25 mins more. Oh time hurry up!

the unbearable lightness of being

on the night my grandma was supposed to return (ie. the 7th day), a big brown butterfly flew into my second uncle's house and settled on the wall nearest to her big armchair. my cosin who was sitting on the chair freaked out and ran away, saying 'ah ma's come back!'. i marvelled slightly at the beauty of it all, and suddenly felt like i finally understood (or at least at peace with) the mysteries of afterlife and death.

my grandma went with a smile on her face; a smile that i had so seldom seen when she was alive. the suddenness of it all makes me feel like i havent felt her departure; it just seems like shes gone on a holiday, just as my aunt had said.

at least we know she's happy, forever;)

---
going back to singapore made me realise that i've changed (and so has she). coming back to london now made me realise that singapore is really my home. i do love my london room, i feel so much more at ease in this room than the room back home (sorry mum) but its a place i made my own; it isnt mine.

the good thing about singapore is that my appetite goes back to what it was - small, which i hope will help me lose that dreadful muffin top:(

Sun and more sun

waiting to go into morocco right now; in a few minutes we'd be on our way to the tarifa port to board our ferry. Quite excited about our little adventure into morocco, and oh well rachel is done with her internet so we shd go off soon:)

ah, hammams and couscous:)

big city streets are calling me loud-

heard a young man singing freely below my window, loud and proud, so i went to take a look:) well this world never ceases to amaze me. it was an old man, limping along with a walking stick, and then he stopped right outside my house for a while. (i think he was trying to pick up some girls/women). then he continued on, singing, in that young man's voice, and limping, in the body of an old man. a strange yet liberating sight to watch.
so nice ;)

so im all packed, and ready to take on the world! (and moroccan carpets. apparently they're very good at selling carpets! so says lonely planet. i quote "even the hardest minded of all tourists will find themselves inclining towards buying one once they step into the shop" when i pointed this out everyone seemed to point it back towards me. hello i know i am a shopaholic but not THAT bad! besides clothes are hard enough to lug back to singapore, much less a carpet.)
anw the read for the trip- the unbearable lightness of being. the first chapter got me thinking already :)


edit: i heard him again! my young sounding old man.

quickie

before i head out again for more errands/hanging out/the dreadful s word (the latter which got me into trouble with my mummy) but oh wells im happy and erm, she will be.

so its been coming to two weeks since ive finished my exams, and ive done absolutely nothing really productive, except cleared up my room a bit and packed stuff a bit and threw away stuff a bit. ive been thinking about which clothes to keep and i havent decided yet. watched some movies and absolutely loved star trek (which i watched twice, once in imax, booyeah!) and yes, kim possible (evidently, if any of you still watch disney).

im really excited bout my backpacking trip, even though i think we're still rather princessy by true backpackers' standards. i have no idea how grimey id be but i really hope i wont be too smelly by the time i get to oslo. and i really cant wait. packing the bag is giving me a headache, every item i pack i think twice and hard before putting it back in. and i seem to be spending alot even before ive gone on the trip. but all's good;)

andd it seems so exciting now that everyone's got their life laid out for the next few years. with every step i take im reevaluating myself and my life choices; with every choice i see my friends make im re-evaluating my choices and myself.
;)

summer loving had me a blast

summer is here:) glorious, hot, sweaty sunshine. it was raining so much before this that ive forgotten how summer was supposed to be. the new london sun makes it quite difficult for me to focus on my last paper (which is anything but what ive been doing, really) but meeting my tutor today has put things into perspective again. plus ive finished watching all my shows and have to find new shows to watch. i highly recommend 30 rock, they deserve more viewership ratings than they have!

ive also been doing alot of shameless online shopping. so out of guilt two days ago i cleared out some stuff and put them into a duffel bag and started taking pictures so i can sell them on ebay. andddd- ive already sold two items! (cant believe you people are willing to buy my stuff..) but then again those stuff are really rather new and mostly are unused, so i guess i should have done this long ago huh!

i cant wait to enjoy my summer :)

tonight, you belong to me

;) just discovered that cute little song through random youtube surfing. yes, it is steve martin singing! i will always remember him as the guy from that movie we (my family) loved to watch when i was younger. the one with the sequels and then his wife and his daughter got pregnant at the same time. (not as mr pink panther).
and then i started clicking on all the different covers of the song. mostly are done in the 60s so all from vinyls it seems.

so, i went through all four seasons of criminal minds and hence im left with no more online entertainment. just in time for the last stretch of exams i guess;( OR, i could start with 30 rock, hm.

i am totally surviving on one meal a day. studying keeps me alive!

now or never

once you get past my obsession with greys im not really that weird a person. but the ending was the ultimate cliffhanger- what will greys do without both izzie and george!

in other news, my smalley (aka eeepc) dropped and i just realised the back lid came open. i cant seem to close it and something jingles inside. best thing is i cant seem to find my tool box and im willing myself not to run downstairs to the mama shop and buy a mini screwdriver. shall exercise willpower to stay in my room.

ah my last weekend as a lse student.

the wedding!

ah omg the website on meredith's and derek's wedding! :)

igiveup.

help. printer died.

ps. lulu was so sweet he found the song and sent it to me! :) aw flattie love.

no good at saying sorry (one more chance)

when i die my orbituary shall list 'Grey's Anatomy' as one of the many great things that happened to me. (others, im thinking, are 'Ingrid Michaelson, Caramel Corn snack, sv trip and the ECP)

the latest episode of greys is absolutely beautiful. short of me ranting on and on- i think greys has saved themselves with the recent scripts. although i will still love to see george have a little bit more screentime. i especially love what chief said to meredith about not standing up for her; and then hunt and 'the three words' that he cannot say.
and the song 'turn and turn again' by bailey tzuke/all thieves/rollo. i cant seem to find it anywhere except on their myspace.

someone told me recently that the saddest people watch the most tv. but id rather say im the saddest when i watch tv. ian once commented that its so lame that i quote greys as my emotional upbringing; but to me its the same as reading poetry or hearing a really good piece of music. it makes me think, a lot, about my own life, the choices that i made, and the choices im going to make.

plus they have great music :)

International labour day

So i was reading pashukanis and trying to wrap my mind around marxist jurisprudence, and then i heard some noises from the street just outside. Anddd i saw the karl marx's face on a huge banner:) and tons of national communist parties. Trade unions too.

How apt! feeling more inspired to trudge through the general theory of law and marxism now:)

and so it goes, and so it goes.

yesterday i gave up and went back home early. really early. but then lulu was home and shortly after mayling came home, so my guilt dissipated x100:) fyi i was already tucked in bed by 4. im not very proud of it but hey i did read a bit while i was on my bed.

anw im realy excited now about watching the king's singers come june. im so glad we bought the tickets already:) i keep rewatching their rendition of 'short people' and i keep getting imageries of versitility (haha man that was so long ago!) singing it and debbie jumping around. or was it yingtee?

i feel lousy for being this hermit during exams (quote my georgetown friend "girl i heard all about lse ppl and exams") but well, two weeks more!

FW: blogging onthego

-original message-
Subject: blogging onthego
From: teojiayun@gmail.com
Date: 27-04-2009 11:55

such n addictive thing to do-snap and blog, all from your phone! Im not showing off, just trying to show you guys the (pathetic) place im studying at. Couldnt/didnt want to get up today, and even though judy was here really early to do her rounds... Anw long story short our room got stolen today, and we're relegated to studying outside. Theres some drilling going on outside, and the platform we're on shakes whenever someone walks on it or smthg.

And all i really want now is some good old chinatown in my empty stomach:(

sigh should have woken up early today.

In other news, i had a great time at singapore day; eating and meeting (new) people. it really makes me think, that singapore is only so young, and how much further we can go as a country. Are we participating as citizens without knowledge of the law. Can we really teach law as a subject in schools? Surprisingly im rather cynical of how far more we can progress ('why are you looking at singapore through a white man's lens!') and maybe i should reevaluate my views. Ive always thought of myself as someone whos open and somewhat a rebel towards organised ideas, but maybe im not as liberal as i think i am. well, i wait in anticipation for my re-integration back into the singapore system come sept:)
then it was dear kevin's birthday celebrations, and man i havent laughed so hard in such a long time. I might have a little drunk from downing that small glass of wine though... But im glad i went:)

but for now, its schoool and more books. oh why isnt chinatown nearer!

Testing

location: new academic building 2nd floor toilet, second from the right.
"going to war to prevent war is the most stupid thing i've ever heard"

fire burns, you cool me down.

our study room got stolen today. ive been alternating between super-sleepy-by-10pm or insomnia-until-4am; but no fear, because my body clock demands that i wake up at 530am everyday. im not sure what im doing to my body, but i do know that my morning runs havent been materialising, and that i am, officially just putting energy into my body and not burning anything. school is too near to walk anything off!

and no i havent stopped watching the marvel/dc videos. i really do find it funny why doesnt anyone else think so!

but i just saw this on tv and i felt so happy watching it so i thought id share:) top gear football!

iloveyoutube.

im never one to youtube and watch videos the whole day. until i discovered these:

I'm a DC... I'm a Marvel

and the whole series of it. hee.

The Dark Knight Trailer in Lego

so throw me a rope to hold me in place

its so strange how i was so tired the nights before that ive been sleeping by 10pm , and then today i get a serious bout of insomnia.

im immensely enjoying listening to my new cds (i thought i bought jem's new cd, turns out i didnt), and ray lamontagne is constantly on repeat. that or the love actually soundtrack. i love love ray, he sounds like he's actually lived life and is telling it through music. he looks like it too, but i doubt thats in any relation to having lived life.

i tried to do some light reading to get drowsy (cue: medical law) but it was so boring i put it down after one article.

this afternoon i had old vjchoir songs on my itunes as i studied. cloudburst still gives me goosebumps; and i strangely enjoyed listening to the hebrew songs we did for sov. i didnt use to like it particulary, i guess when you're younger singing big bombastic songs were the only thing that mattered (or so i thought). but now listening back to the recordings, i thought our sound really suited the hebrew pieces.
i cant wait to sing again.
reminds me of how the same song can sound different and mean different things in different times. just like joni mitchell's both sides now, which i think is probably one of the best songs ever, just because when you hear the older version of it you can always feel her weariness of the world.

im not too sure this post has a point. ;)

or i guess, the point is that- IM STUDYING HARD.