if it makes you happy, it cant be that bad

goodbye world,
(helloooo paradise).

hello, hi

I used to be afraid of not being able to remember what my life was; the events that happened; all the little details that made everything special/different/horriblywrong/wonderful, and I'm pretty sure my brain has been shrinking (or succumbing to the evil that is Age/wrinkles) because I find myself not remembering things when people ask me questions like 'so what is the most evil thing you've done' or 'what is the saddest thing to have happened to you'. My life has been in placebo so much that I have forgotten these events (mostly unpleasant) that made me, into the person that I am, and I am finding that I am taking longer to recall the events, but I do, and I remember acutely the emotions then, and my thoughts at that time.

So I'm good. For now, no need for a diary, not yet at least. But may blogger live forever, so I can remember what I was thinking, what I felt, and how I felt at this very moment.

:)

Off we go!

xoxo,
Sent from my iPhone

and away we go

THELONGWEEKENDISHERE:)

so I woke up too late to go buy any snacks/mags/cupnoodles (we are, afterall, poor working girls) and im just in time for eug's dad to come pick me up. I did go get macs breakfast though. Its still on my table, hm dont really feel like macs these days.

I realised I didnt have enough money for the trip, and so I started looking into my ang baos. I found a stack (I think, from last year) and began opening them (still unopened!). My mum has this quirk where she thinks if you keep the ones from the current year it'd bring you good luck, so I try not to touch the angbaos from this year. (they're in ringgit anyway). Well so I opened one angbao after another and they were all dark red notes, and then I saw two blue notes.

Then I realised that angbao was probably from my grandmother, and well how different things are just about a year ago. I'm not particularly sad, because I think it brought us closer together. Now my uncle tries to replicate her cooking, and its rather heartwarming (and quite delicious) if you knew how alpha he actually can be.

I'm keeping that angbao a little longer for keepsake. But I really do need the money so, thank you Grandma!

hello, back!

havent been online much at home, and Ive obviously lost interest in touching anything remotely resembling a screen when I'm at home. It's dinner, and then the bed.

So I thought I'd try to make an effort to keep this up, after hearing Liyann say 'I've always pictured you doing something more creative', I realised I havent been thinking very much. I mean, other than that brief discussion with Eugenia over whether Murakami killed the male character in Sputnik Sweetheart, I really havent been engaged in anything remotely intellectually stimulating recently. All I have been thinking about are weekends, weekends, and weekends. and an occasional KFC. I mean, I dont even have any desire to go shopping??

I would talk about the epiphany I had in the office yesterday, after my long meeting and after the rowdy office boys left the meeting room, but its nothing more than just, that, myopic view and abstract concepts becoming a bigger picture. Although, the corporate culture (and the people, oh the people) still baffles me. Am still waiting for that epiphany to dawn on me.

fyi this shall be my last post on work and i hereby ban myself from speaking about the O (for office) word.

Meantime- LONGWEEKEND!

quarterly review

it has been about three months since i started work. the cold feet from the 'ohnoidbedoingthisfortherestofmylife' started in week two when i saw an old man with a whole head of silver hair shuffling along to the mrt crowd, trying to get on the escalator. i got over that, and then my life's been, well, still manageable so far. ive always been a very practical person, but lately ive been finding that hard to keep at. its strange how work is making me feel that work is just work (and nothing more, i must keep that in mind), and how my matteroffact attitude will probably kill my soul even before i strangle others (imaginary, of course) at work. so i breathe, and i take a little break to make tea. i listen to my ipod and i play Ruby Blue so i can dance around in my little head.

the little bits of joy i get from work are from listening to other people talk about themselves and their work. im glad for my china trip cos i get to meet people outside the office, and of course drink eat and get massaged;) talking to people helps me get a perspective i cant get from working in my little room. so im glad for that.

see if i think differently three months down the road;)

before we turn to stone

sometimes I'm really in awe of the way this universe works. Just when I needed to talk to someone, my best friend from halfway across the world could do with a talk as well. And so a few lines over gchat actually made my previous weeks of heavy heartness (all those frustrations!) seem light, lighter, and the part where I was caught grinning like an idiot and texting into my phone when my boss came into my room just made it funnier.

and so I say, nothing in this world is that bad. lets give this another try;)

what, its 2010 already!

So my cat says its january already, but my brain doesnt seem to agree. (that is the closest id ever get to having a cat, btw.) and just as I was just getting used to having my Sister around the house, she leaves for South Africa for a month. Family time is so hard to come by:(

I'm not quite sure what to expect for 2010, so I'm just going to go with an open mind. It is, afterall, the start of the rest of my life. (cue: Only Yesterday from Studio Ghibli). And because I believe in things like fateful coincidence (I had watched all but two of the Studio Ghibli vcd set and I picked that to watch on New Year's Eve) I shall remember dearly the little girl from the film. Oh, and to have an open heart too.

Happy new year everyone :)