dont need superman, just want you to love me.

with barely a week left in singapore, i wonder whats going to happen when i return to london, and im filled with grippling fear. like what rosh said in her out of the blue call today,"i feel sick thinking about going back to UK".

i guess i still have no idea how it all spiralled down into the situation it has become of now. barely months ago i was one half of a deliriously happy couple despite parents' obvious displeasure. then a few weeks later im a devastated heartbroken chick. i think the need for playing the blame game is over by now, but the sense of what it used to be still haunts me. exactly how do you move on from something you've invested so much time and effort, and most of all, yourself. sadly its not a question, but rather a statement. because we have to do it. move on, i mean. with our lives. rosh has a way of saying it;) 'seems like the world is moving along just like normal but you feel so horrible inside and you know its not the same anymore'

no matter how special a relationship is, breakups are all the same. the same lines used, the same emotions. and that horrible feeling of not being able to agree on the same things. maybe thats exactly why there was the breakup.;)

few days ago i was talking to mr buff chwen, and he was lamenting on the 'lousy' plot for the time traveller's wife. he said the male lead was very selfish, leaving the female lead alone and pining for him long after he was dead, just so she could see him one last time when she was very old. i on the contrary, thought that was the beauty of the story, it being bittersweet. i remember none but one line for my defense of this beautiful book. i said, "singlehood aint that bad if you know you've loved once."
so he asked the million dollar question, whether i was speaking from my own experience.
i guess, i am still trying to figure that out. ;)