keep breathing

shimmie introed me to this song, but what she didnt know is that i already know this song;) am rewatching greys, and well i think this is really the last of rewatching greys. you know its too much when you know for sure what happens next, when the more memorable lines, punchlines, come in. ;)


then i koped this from yann's blog. i normally dont like scrubs, but this is really sweet;)


whoever says tv is bad for the soul??

the most adorable strawberries

they all look incredibly cute. they're really small and they all look so perfect. every single one looked like a little heart shape if you hold them upright and they all had a perfectly symmetrical leafy thing on top. but of course i finished them in one sitting - with sugar drizzled on top :) just the perfect way to eat your strawberries!

had a very productive night - and wound up with gu ice cream and greys, again. not being able to wash my hair is a good excuse to not exercise! but then again i do wish my wound would heal faster so that i can do normal stuff again (i.e. wash my hair)


and jerald just threatened me to stop skipping school cos he doesnt want to lend me anymore notes. oops;) it was just one weeeekk and now i have loads to catch up on. but its okay i kinda like what im learning now in year two (except property, i still dont like property theres something wrong with what we're studyingg)

time flies and i only have two more weeks left of school, then after christmas break i only have ten more weeks of school and its the end of my second year at LSE. i know maybe its become i spend alot of time lazing around and having a good time, but its just scary to know that so soon, so near, id be done with my studies and id start my life as a working adult.
cant wait;)

two mornings after feliz navidad

the concert was really fun;) well minus the fact that the fuse for the mics blew just minutes before we were about to start which gave us all a mini panic attack, we were fine. ;) I honestly thought we pulled everything off (and i pulled off singing angel phew) and well i think in the end we all enjoyed ourselves. ;)


and so that night after the really late supper and the really cold walk back home, i took out a tub of hagen daaz double chocolate and cookie dough ice cream, and ate it while watching greys, before falling asleep on a very comfortable airbed.
life is good;)

the london way

well so today i did nothing but dealt with stuff concerning the bump on my head.

went to my gp to get my stitches taken out, and the nurse was rough. like, tackling a rugby ball. it was painful i kid you not. i was quite close to crying which says alot. and then she started getting annoyed that she couldnt find my stitches (cos they were black, which i agree, is quite dumb) so well. I had 7 stitches, and she only took out 6. and then it started bleeding again and she had to dress it so now i have a dressing plastered to my hair (which is going to cost me more hair..) and now im really quite afraid of moving my head too much. she wanted to send me back to the hospital that did this to me but i said well the hospital is quite far so she agreed to see me again tmr.

i also went to the citizens advice bureau but the lady just told me what everyone has been telling - which is to get a lawyer. so then we were watching tv and the advert for those claims stuff came up and well i entered my details into their website and they got back to me so now im just waiting for them to get back to me again. the lady at CAB did say i might not have a case since there werent any permanent damage- and i know i sound like i really want the money or something, but it just seems wrong that i got hit on the head for fault not my own and they get away scot free. they are under a general obligation to make it safe for people to walk on the pavements, and they didnt do it well enough.
although its been hard to justify my loss. "er, missing school, having to rest at home because its too cold and rainy outside and i didnt want anything to get into my hair, traumatised whenever i see scaffoldings, missing essay deadlines..."

oh wells! i just want to get the last stitch out of my head;)

concert day tomorrow;) if you havent gotten a ticket and are still thinking bout it, well stop thinking and come! i do think its going to be a great concert;) anw its for charity so if you've been holing yourself up reading the financial times and thinking bout yourself and applications, take some time off tomorrow evening and just let your hair down for one night. :)

"in the end, only kindness matters." -hands, jewel.

oh what an experience!

so i guess as most people should know, last friday i met with a really unfortunate accident. well it all began with me planning to go shopping at primark with shimmie, so we met in school and headed off in rather high spirits, because it was afterall a shopping trip:) but alas we didnt get very far. well when we got to the big sains at holborn, we were walking past these two construction workers who were removing some scaffolding, and well everything happened quite fast, but before i knew it i felt something (a scaffolding pole, the whole 80kg, really long pole) hit my head, so i fell to the floor grabbing my head (shimmie thought i tripped over something) and when i lifted my hands off my head well i saw blood on my hands, and (according to shimmie) blood was squirting out of my head, forming this puddle of blood infront of me. all i could think of was 'er this cant be happening right'
so then began the whole hysteria around me. shimmie was desperately trying to call 911 on her hp but she couldnt so she started screaming "call the ambulance!" (note: the number to call in uk is 999 :D) and then this gay guy came prancing over and lent us his scarf so we could have something to press against the wound. after a while the police and the ambulance came, i must say they didnt take too long. all i know was that there was alot of commotion around me and i was just trying to be calm and hoping that i would get to the hospital soon. (how freaky is this but mayling, who was on her way to ocf camp, actually saw the scene thingy but she couldnt see who was injured. !)
so they put me in a headbrace and strapped me to a stretcher, just in case. then they left me there for quite a bit of time cos they were trying to decide where to send me to. apparently the nearest hospital is also the busiest and they didnt want me to wait, but then again i seemed fine so they were well, just discussing. that was when i started getting really scared;) they had cornered off the area, and left me lying there in the cold, strapped, and i could see all the commotion around me and people talking about me but not to me, and shimmie wasnt anywhere nearby. i saw this guy in an apartment above the scaffolding taking pictures of the whole thing, and well i just felt really alone. so i started crying.
and even when i got on the ambulance i was crying even harder cos i telling shimmie to call my parents and i just felt so sad that they were so far away and how worried they would be to hear all these. haha shimmie was trying to get me to stop crying because it just made me bleed more and i was bleeding onto the ambulance floor which wasnt a pretty sight.
i guess everything got better when i got to the hospital. everyone seemed pretty amazed that i didnt feel alot of pain and that i was in quite a good shape. i had to wriggle my toes, tell them the colour of my socks, and wherever part of my body they pressed didnt hurt. so they stitched me up and sent me home.
nurses were pretty though (in ref to rai's qns, yes the nurses were really pretty)
by the time i made it back home my hair was a mangle of clotted blood and white blood cells. even after i shampooed my hair the first time my hair was still in tangles and shimmie had to spent another hour shampooing my hair for me. so now im not going to wash my hair for the next five days( until i take out my stitches!)
oh and i lost my wallet as well. bah.
;)
well. whenever mishaps happen to me i think of the life line on my palm, and the growing gap and the 'misfortune' that this one friend who once read my palm said to me. i did think it would be it, as morbid as it sounds, but then life's like that and i guess im just one really lucky girl.
and of course, all my awfully sweet friends ( as llewellyn was jealously telling me) who cared bout me, heres a big smooshy kiss to you guys;) esp shimmie. man this woman is my nanny! but she really did take very good care of me;) really glad you were around babe. and of course the apple crumble and gu ice cream;) and the many phone calls, albeit a tad bit expensive ones;)

alot of people had very funny response to my misfortune so, no shawn the scaffolding wasnt that short; and no adibah, im not going to forget that im from singapore and go back to china (!!); and no cheryl, i didnt forget you but i really didnt know your chinese name to begin with so thats not a valid question to ask! ;)

im really one blessed girl;)
just one small pic for those who wants to see the cleaned up wound (which according to ian, wont illicit anymore sympathy for me)

A prelude to christmas;)

Come hear us sing happy songs:)


*****
i forgot about my salmon in the oven and now i have burnt salmon. ;(

slow down!

time has been moving along, very very fast. so i escaped to oxford last weekend and i stayed there for about i think three days :D three hot nights sleeping in rosh's bed we basically spent the whole weekend doing work(seriously) shoppng at primark (Againn) and doing this beady thingy that rosh bought haha and watching mohinderr(must do the indian accent). i did like one beady thing for may as well but no one can see her name unless you hold it realllly far away but hey at least you can see your name! and we walked around cold cold oxford and stuffed ourselves with macD's( as jessica calls it) and well it was just really really nice to spend time with her. now i cant wait for rachel to come over;D in case you're wondering that rosh wearing her atas scholar gown. only those who get distinctions get to wear them. i dont get it its already oxford how much higher can you go?? but oh wells thats the english for you. I LOVE YOU ROSH. so ive been busy with work and more work and essays and law fairs and thinking about doing applications. law fairs were good and i think im wrapping my head around the idea of working here;) life is good;) im the queen of relaxing so whenever i feel like im moving too fast i slow down a little and look around. the other day i saw the autumn leaves do this little dance as the wind blew and it was just so beautiful- it was as if the sky was raining leaves. then well the cashier at primark told me i was very beautiful;) i do feel like im putting on weight again, with all the macs and kamfung ive been ingesting these days. havent had the time to cook- i dont think im even home alot these days. but thats really good i dont feel so congested when i stay in school nowadays. i think LSE is growing on me;)

so yup that sums up my life, for now;)

hundred - the fray

i know its been long after the concert, but i thought id put up a few nice pics here ;) i really like the one where theres the hand cos you can really feel everyone's high just by looking at that pic. music was really good;) the fray played really well. they had a grand piano, how cool was that. and i think im growing older, because rock bands like them( eg. older rockers with wives) actually appeal to me. and as usual, im a convert already. especially when they played the songs i know haha HOW TO SAVE A LIFE look after you over my head hundred. and the company was random but good;) so yup i had lotsa fun i just wish i could go see spicegirls as well;(

greys anatomy s4e06 :kung fu fighting

ive got so much work piling up beause of last week getting sick and how i went out the whole weekend- i havent really been following any of the dramas except grey's. im making it sound like tv is a must; well to me i guess i like to escape into another world sometimes, even if its just for forty minutes.

as adibah said, this episode was about letting go. sure, it strikes a chord, and it isn't easy. i guess that like my mum, i find it hard to let go of stuff, which is strangely out of character because i am a tough strong practical chick. :) but i am finding it hard to let go, of alot of things. obviously i hope that one day i will be able to look back and laugh at myself for wasting so much time over this. it has been so long already and i do hate talking about it, but right now this is how i am feeling and this is what has become of me.

so dear ex, im glad you've moved on. and yes, maybe one day we'll be able to talk about the old times and have a good laugh about it. ;)

losing the roses

i hate misplacing stuff. especially when i know that i had used it just recently, but now i cant find it. ive been thinking really hard where i could have put this little plastic bag of my rose earrings and this really pretty rose ring(the only ring that i have that actually fits my finger). i really liked the ring. i wore the earrings last to the ucl party i think and well now i cant find it. im really peeved because i know its somewhere and my room isnt that huge but i just cant find it.
another thing lost;(

hello you long shots; hairbrush singers and dashboard drummers

felt a little under today, just well, gloomy. ;) but at the end of the day i come back home and i feel really blessed. because:

1. got to meet up with squish after so long! i truly miss the times we had in hall,just staying in and watching lotsa stuff on my com. we had mussels(im getting sick of them sigh) and then we went primark shopping. again. haha. she must be a lucky charm or smthg cos i found the correct size for these two nighties that ive been looking for since forever! ;)

2. then i came home and realised there was this bottle of honey on my floor. im really glad for the few but good friends i have here in london :) so heres a hugeee thank you to you big cheng;) i even felt really warm when he was nagging 'dont so lazy ah go make honey water!' haha. yes yes im drinking it now;)

counting my blessings;)

somewhere, over the rainbow, way up high

have been feeling quite sick, didnt go to school yesterday. spent the whole day sleeping and doing whatever readings i can (which really wasnt alot) and then today i woke up and felt like shit again but okay i made myself get up and went for two lectures. glad i did cos i saw mail for me!;) boy did that make my day ;)






from my sis! ;) i cant wait till she comes over for christmas! although that will mean me having to finish my applications which doesnt leave me with much time but OH wells. :) shes always been my rock, my huge pillar. i know things have changed, both for you and me, but hey i still love you and im glad your life has been better with all thats happening;) im always on your side, remember that!





from hianchuan;) haha yes big man you really do make pretty presents. i showed jon your pres and he was like 'so pretty which girlfriend of yours gave you that?' ;) but hey its a compliment okay once i saw the handwriting on the envelope i knew it was you ahah. ;) thanks alot yeah, and yup im really glad our friendship has turned out so well. hurry come join me in this grey weather!
listening to the songs now i must say its a pleasant surprise what good songs you have.
'je ne vais pas travaille!'


aand so im feeling gloomy no more ;)

where are you now my love

watching excess baggage video now;) funny how everyone looks different now. its as if we've all grown up so much in just one year in london:) sure i miss all the tiring rehearsals and the fantastic company; and its just great to sit down one lazy sunday night watching the video. thanks kelvin:) i still think we had fantastic music!

went up to cardiff yesterday with fellow victorians. i think i had fun but haha i was with my favourite people and we did our favourite activity- primark shopping!! the primark at cardiff was really organised and neat. and HUGE - they had four storeys of cheap stuff omg. ;) i nearly lost my jacket there which was rather silly. i left it on the rack cos we were trying on clothes in front of the mirror and when i was done i turned around and the coat was gone! joanne was really nice and we went around retracing our steps. well luckily for me i think a staff cleared it so he/she returned it to the customer service counter. phew! but okay we bought alot of nice stuff;) joanne rosh and i bought the same top hee.
the first picture was taken at the cardiff castle which was probably the only touristy thing we did. oh and the pub we went to at cardiff bay for dinner was really pretty- its called terra nova.

i always think its good to get away from london once in a while- away from the busy hustle bustle and mean sullen people here;) or well just an excuse to have one whole day of fun and shopping and bridge and laughter. goooo victorians!

only that i think im sick. freshers flu. it got worse and i came back home with a splitting headache. well the wonderful paul's breakfast i had with rosh the next day made me feel loads better. cant wait to see her again:)

oh haha today i felt bored while waiting for my instant porridge to cook so i googled my name. and, (hahaa) i found this blog which apparently belongs to someone from my pri sch who said i was his first ever crush. ! wonders of the internet. ;)

oui?

today's been quite an exciting day;) our toilet leaked early in the morning, and mind you it was practically raining from the ceiling so we had to call in the contractor and mayling is convinced its dirty sewage water leaking down but luckily for me i wasnt wear my specs so heck it i just went ahead and bathed and used the bathroom; i had an useless family law class (only cos we did an introductory thing again and so im one week ahead for my readings and class is two weeks behind lecture) ; went for my french interview and well i shd be doing level two french this year so please bless me with a smooth french tongue;) ; cheryl's coming over in a while to bake ginger bread man cookies (!!) ; and rosh is on her way now to londonl; and im going cardiff tmr.

and now i found the perfect ring in the universe after hours of senseless internet surfing ;) i got inspired by liyann's ring ;) isnt it the most adorable ring you've ever seen (beams!)

lullaby for a stormy night -vienna teng

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gu1o-Do_0LM

so i effectively slept my wednesday away. ;) i woke up to chicken rice, sweet and sour chicken wings, Friends, and strawberry cheesecake.

i cant wait for a getaway;)

have yourself a merry little christmas

;) yeah okay i know its a little too early but hey singing carols with tan en today made me a feel little christmasy so i decided to share the christmas decorations in my room with everybody















and i really like how the light falls in this picture. but who would have thought that with sunlight like that its still very cold:(
okay im off to books now may complains that im too lazy :D

little child, be not afraid

VIENNA TENG
Lullaby For a Stormy Night
words and music by Vienna Teng

little child, be not afraid.
though rain pounds harshly against the glass
like an unwanted stranger, there is no danger
I am here tonight

little child, be not afraid
though thunder explodes and lightning flash
illuminates your tear-stained face
I am here tonight

and someday you'll know
that nature is so
the same rain that draws you near me
falls on rivers and land
on forests and sand
makes the beautiful world that you'll see
in the morning

little child, be not afraid
though storm clouds mask your beloved moon
and its candlelight beams, still keep pleasant dreams
I am here tonight

little child, be not afraid
though wind makes creatures of our trees
and their branches to hands, they're not real, understand
and I am here tonight

for you know, once even I was a
little child, and I was afraid
but a gentle someone always came
to dry all my tears, trade sweet sleep for fears
and to give a kiss goodnight

well now I am grown
and these years have shown
that rain's a part of how life goes
but it's dark and it's late
so I'll hold you and wait
'til your frightened eyes do close

and I hope that you'll know...

everything's fine in the morning
the rain'll be gone in the morning
but I'll still be here in the morning

**
i always think of genia when i hear this song. ;)

just a few days ago i was telling cheng that things needn't always be awkward around people that you've loved before and is now past. 'open up your heart!' i told him. but i think ill take back my words. it really isnt easy, and sometimes we're just not ready to face each other, in the context of a new relationship. at least i know for sure thats the case for me and kiat. i thought i was ready, i thought i was cool with just being friends, but im not, and im not going to try anymore. because i think its really time i move on, get over him; so i dont hate myself for not being able to be the person i should be in this new relationship, so i dont try to pretend that im happy with the way things are. ;) i might just be happier not having to worry about all these!

well im just really glad i got to spend my last few days with the people i really love ;) going out and shopping and having dimsum and going out and shopping and having macs haha. sorry mummy and daddy that i kinda burnt a hole in my pocket but hey its the mid seasons sale and things were really going for really low prices. got myself a new pair of boots (frm primark though but hey its really pretty and decent( okay i dont know bout the child labour thg okay tan en so ill just pretend i erm dont know :D) ) and lots of other stuff as well. maybe ill start dressing up for sch. these days i just wake up half an hour before sch starts, bathe, check email, pile on ugly clothes and head out in ugly grumpy face. lets hope new pretty clothes will make me happyyy
;)

two weeks of school

and im feeling quite lazy already. ;) well maybe not lazy, but some sort of a perverse rebellion to everything that everyone is doing. conversation btwn me and a friend
me: so are you continuing french this year?
fren: no im busy this year
me: huh with what
fren: apps.
me: what?
fren: applications. to companies.

well he's not the only one and honestly everyone's getting pretty uptight and stressed about applications for internships/vacation schemes/pupilage/whatnots. ive been to two company presentations and that isnt alot, but i think i have a pretty good idea where im headed towards, just that i havent actually got down to doing anything yet. everyone around me seems to have their cv up somehow, and spoken to others about opportunites and how things are going to work out and im just taking it easy. well at least trying to. its not that i dont value my future, i guess this reeks of scholarships applications again and i absolutely hated that feeling. ;) the kind of feeling that everyone is out to bite each other's tails and chew each other's heads out. grr!

on another note, school is really getting along fine. wednesday has kind of turned into a cook out day for me jerald and jon, and jon is really quite a good cook. ;) we had really nice dessert yesterday - vanilla ice cream with honey and raspberries, absolutely delicious! and hello while im at that let me share with the whole world the simple recipe for a good old seafood risotto.(courtesy of jon although haha he doesnt get any royalties)(so cool im like having my own food blog)

you'll need:
risotto
chick stock cube
garlic
seafood (sainsburys 2 for 4pounds

1. well boil the chicken stock. as in. have it in boiling water. (how do you phrase this???)
2. fry garlic and risotto in pot
3. add chicken stock broth as and when in small potions and continue stirring the risotto so that it doesnt stick to the pan/ie burn. add until it gets to the right stickiness desired.
4. add seafood!
5. SERVE.

haha yay!

theres something in your eyes, makes me want to lose myself

feels like home by chantel kreviazuk
my second food- baked pasta! the weather today has been horrible; its been raining really heavily the whole day. so when i got home after my lectures i just felt like i wanna make something today. and since ive been looking at recipes online for baked pasta i decided to try my hand at it although ive already had my leftover fried rice for lunch. and look what turned out :) a delicious pan of baked cheesy pasta enough i reckon to feed 6 people;) but hey we're all hungry people here in london (except for may who eats one spoonful of porridge for lunch) so this should last us for er, two meals? ;)

went for allen & overy presentation after that and well im feeling the motivation to study and do well in my life. i think its really smart that they got our seniors to talk to us because as naeem said, we'll look at them and think 'hey that can be me' and yes i do think that way now so i studied abit when i got home. i dont think im going to turn into those overzealous people but i guess i shouldnt be laidback as well. i do wanna end up somewhere in my life. ;)

then of course i caught the second episode of greys on the all wonderful alluc.org. this episode was about addictions in life and moving on from there. it all sounds very familiar to me and really becoming the central theme in my life right now. not one day goes by where i dont think about what im going to do with my life;) that scene where christina went back to her apartment and all the wedding gifts had been cleared; i think i know how she feels. its that sense of longing and the sense of wanting to move on. it clashes, but somehow you feel both at the same time. its, all just very strange. ;)
and yes izzie still irritates the hell out of me. poor callie HELLO shes the suffering wife. bad george!

Amie, come sit on my wall.

:)Damien Rice concert at London Wembley, the arena.

okay i gotta confess, ive always written him off as a singer whos too sad and erm boring for my liking. but hey the ticket wasnt too expensive so i went with andre to see maybe ill change my opinion about him;)
and man am i a changed woman.

i never knew i could like sad songs so much:) he's very raw so it makes you wanna go up to him, and give him a big bear hug. but yeah listening to his songs for the first time as an audience in a live concert really makes me wonder how this guy managed to write all these songs. has he lived that much?






but my favourite song is still 'amie', and the effects for that song was really dreamy;)











even though he kinda made it awkward (i thought) by bringing in burma's political situation and brought in burmese refugees and brought up the peaceful riot the monks did in the concert itself, ie making the crowd chant the same words the monks did in response to aung san suu kyi's house arrest(personally i felt slightly used) but hey it shows he's bringing awareness. cos i chanted too :D at least now(according to andre) you can tell people you were involved in a political rally!